In combat, the threat of death is ever present, making it easy for troops to avoid emotional vulnerability and risk-taking behavior that could result in serious injury or death. After returning from war, however, many veterans struggle to connect with loved ones, resulting in feelings of isolation, shame, guilt, and depression. These psychological effects can be exacerbated by the transition back into civilian life. One challenge is rebuilding trust after experiencing trauma together. In this essay, I will explore how soldiers can rebuild relational trust when exposure to morally challenging environments has heightened fear of relational failure.
Let's define what trust means in a relationship. Trust is defined as "a belief that someone is reliable, good, honest, effective." It includes both parties being able to count on each other to act in a way that benefits the relationship and fulfill mutual needs. Without trust, there is no foundation for a healthy relationship. When returning home from war, the physical and emotional safety net provided by fellow soldiers disappears, leaving some service members feeling alone and unsupported. This lack of support can cause them to doubt their ability to form new relationships and rekindle existing ones.
The second step to building trust in a relationship is communication. It's important for service members to express their thoughts, feelings, and expectations clearly and openly with those around them. This allows them to build an understanding between themselves and others, and creates a sense of security and comfort. To facilitate clear communication, it's crucial to establish boundaries and set clear limits.
If one person wants more time alone than another, they should communicate this directly rather than assuming it will be understood.
The third step to building trust is consistency. Consistency involves following through with promises, keeping agreements, and acting in a predictable manner. This helps build confidence that the other party can be counted on to do what they say they will do. It also reduces anxiety about the future and gives space for emotions to grow deeper. In addition to being consistent in actions, consistency of character is equally important.
Saying you'll do something but not doing it undermines trust because it makes the other person question your integrity and reliability.
Empathy plays a major role in restoring trust after trauma. Empathy refers to understanding how someone else feels without needing them to tell you so explicitly. It shows respect and compassion for the other person and builds trust over time. When returning home from war, veterans may feel embarrassed or ashamed by their experiences. By listening actively and offering support without judgment or criticism, loved ones can help restore trust in the relationship.
Taking small steps toward reconnecting physically - such as going out together or watching TV - can help ease tensions and restore intimacy.
Soldiers must work hard to rebuild trust after experiencing morally challenging environments. They must first define what trust means in their relationships, then communicate clearly and openly while setting clear boundaries.
They must show empathy and offer unconditional support to those around them, which in turn allows them to rebuild intimate bonds slowly but surely. By working through these steps, service members can strengthen their relationships and move forward with hope and healing.
How do soldiers rebuild relational trust when exposure to morally challenging environments has heightened fear of relational failure?
Rebuilding relational trust after being exposed to morally challenging situations can be difficult for soldiers due to their heightened fear of relational failure. Soldiers may feel hesitant to form close relationships as they struggle with feelings of betrayal, guilt, and shame, which can lead to social isolation. Additionally, they may have trouble trusting others who share similar experiences or those outside of their military community.