The following is an excerpt from an unpublished manuscript titled "Relational Needs of Soldiers":
Soldiers are individuals who have been trained for combat in order to protect their country's interests. This training involves learning how to think tactically, strategically, physically, and psychologically. In most cases, they must be able to adapt quickly and respond effectively to changing circumstances while maintaining emotional composure under stress.
Despite this training, soldiers often struggle with relational needs that can lead them into conflict with institutional norms. The military does not provide much opportunity for personal growth outside of its own strict code of conduct. As a result, many soldiers find themselves unable to express their true feelings or connect with others beyond their unit's boundaries.
One soldier described his difficulty reconciling his desire for intimacy with his need to conform to military rules and regulations. He said that he felt pressure to hide his sexual orientation from his fellow soldiers because it was seen as taboo within the military culture. He also explained that he had developed strong relationships with other members of his unit but found himself unable to share his deepest secrets or fears due to the risk of being labeled weak or disloyal. Another soldier described how she struggled to balance her desire for physical affection with her obligations as a soldier. She spoke of feeling isolated even when surrounded by friends because she could not touch or be touched without breaking protocol.
In addition to these issues, soldiers may face difficulties balancing family life with their professional lives. They are often required to spend long periods away from home, which can strain relationships with loved ones. Some soldiers report feeling pressured to prioritize their duty over their spouses or children. This can create tension at home and make it difficult for soldiers to form meaningful connections with those who do not understand what they go through on a daily basis.
Soldiers must learn to navigate the complex interplay between their personal desires and institutional expectations. While some soldiers may choose to compromise in order to maintain good standing within the military, others may feel frustrated by the restrictions placed upon them.
This creates an environment where soldiers struggle to find emotional satisfaction outside of the military setting, leading to loneliness and isolation.
How do soldiers reconcile relational needs with the pressure to conform to institutional norms?
Soldiers are required to prioritize military service over personal relationships while also adhering to institutional norms that may conflict with their relational needs. This can create cognitive dissonance as they attempt to balance these competing demands. Soldiers often seek support from their fellow troops, family members, and friends to navigate this challenge, but it can be difficult to find understanding and empathy within the military culture.