Fantasies involving dominance, submission, or non-monogamy are a common part of human behavior, and they can have a significant impact on how people communicate and negotiate within their romantic or sexual relationships. These types of fantasies often involve power dynamics, role-playing, and/or sharing partners, which can be exciting for some but may also pose unique challenges to effective communication and conflict resolution. In this article, we will explore what these types of fantasies mean, how they affect relational communication, and strategies for navigating them in healthy ways.
What are dominant, submissive, and non-monogamous fantasies?
These types of fantasies refer to desires that fall outside of traditional norms of monogamy and power dynamics. Dominant fantasies typically involve one partner taking control over another, while submissive fantasies involve giving up power or control to someone else. Non-monogamous fantasies include anything from casual encounters with others to polyamory, swapping partners, or group sex. While all three types of fantasy may seem taboo to some, they are actually quite common. Studies suggest that up to 70% of women and 85% of men report having had at least one fantasy about being dominated (Breslow, 2014), and nearly half of Americans admit to cheating on their partner or wanting to (Gallup, 2019).
How do these fantasies influence relational communication?
When people engage in these types of behaviors, it can create tension between their private desires and their public personas. They may feel guilty, ashamed, or conflicted about their desires, leading to secrecy and silence around them. This can make it difficult for them to communicate openly and honestly with their partners about their needs and wants, as well as lead to resentment or mistrust if those desires go unmet.
The role-playing involved in these types of fantasies can also blur lines of consent and trust, making it harder for partners to distinguish between what is real and what is pretend.
Strategies for navigating these fantasies:
1. Open communication: If you have a dominant/submissive or non-monogamy fantasy, talk to your partner about it! Be clear about what turns you on and why, and express any concerns or fears you might have about acting on those desires. This will help build trust and understanding, and allow you to negotiate boundaries and agreements that work for both of you.
2. Role-play carefully: If you do want to try out these types of role-plays, be sure to set clear limits and safe words ahead of time. Establish clear rules about what is okay and not okay beforehand, and check in regularly during play to ensure everyone is comfortable and enjoying themselves.
3. Seek support: If you find yourself struggling with shame or guilt around these desires, seek professional support from a therapist or counselor who specializes in sex and relationships. They can help you process your feelings and explore healthy ways to integrate these fantasies into your relationship.
Fantasies involving dominance, submission, or non-monogamy are a normal part of human behavior and can add excitement to a relationship.
They can also pose challenges to effective relational communication and negotiation. By talking openly about your needs and wants, establishing clear boundaries, and seeking support as needed, you can navigate these desires in a healthy and fulfilling way.
How do fantasies involving dominance, submission, or non-monogamy influence relational communication and negotiation?
Fantasizing about dominance, submission, or non-monogamy can have an impact on relational communication and negotiation by providing individuals with an outlet for exploring their desires and preferences outside of their current relationship dynamics. It allows them to explore different power dynamics, roles, and sexual experiences that they may not be able to access within their primary relationship.