In today's world, soldiers are often exposed to life-threatening situations that can have lasting effects on their physical and emotional well-being. Traumatic experiences such as combat injuries, military sexual assaults, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) may result in changes to the body, senses, and sexual functioning, which can significantly impact their personal lives, including relationships and intimacy. This can cause difficulties for couples who wish to maintain an active and satisfying sex life.
There are ways for these couples to redefine intimacy and find new levels of connection through communication, understanding, and adaptation. This article will explore how couples can navigate this challenging terrain and rediscover pleasure together.
Physical Changes
One of the most significant consequences of trauma is physical changes that affect sexual functioning. These could include limb amputation, scarring, burns, or loss of sensation. The physical pain associated with these changes can make it difficult for individuals to engage in sexual activities.
The psychological effects of trauma may lead to erectile dysfunction, vaginal dryness, or a lack of desire. Couples should approach these issues with compassion and patience and work together to discover alternative forms of intimacy that do not require physical contact.
They might focus on cuddling, kissing, massaging, or talking about feelings instead of intercourse. It is also essential to communicate openly about any fears or concerns and seek medical help when necessary.
Sensory Changes
Trauma can also alter our sensory perceptions, making some people hyper-sensitive to touch or sound while others become less sensitive.
An individual who has experienced a blast injury may be overwhelmed by loud noises or bright lights. They may feel anxious or panicky in certain situations where they used to feel comfortable. In such cases, couples must learn to adapt their environment to accommodate their partner's needs.
They might lower the volume during sex or create a quiet space for relaxation.
Emotional Trauma
PTSD can cause emotional distress that impacts relationships. Veterans with PTSD may struggle with trust issues, anger management, and anxiety. As a result, they may avoid intimate situations or withdraw from their partners emotionally. Couples need to acknowledge each other's pain and support one another through therapy or counseling. They can also try engaging in activities that promote bonding and communication, such as hiking, cooking, or watching movies. The goal is to build a safe and secure space where both individuals can express themselves freely without judgment.
Redefining Intimacy
Couples must work together to redefine intimacy in a way that works for them. This means accepting their new normal and finding pleasure in non-sexual ways. It also involves being open to trying new things, exploring different forms of expression, and embracing vulnerability. Some veterans have found success in roleplaying scenarios involving costumes or props that simulate past experiences before trauma. Others find satisfaction in massages or physical touch that doesn't lead to intercourse.
It comes down to creativity, patience, and understanding.
Traumatic events can significantly impact our lives, including our sexuality and relationships.
Couples who are committed to working together can discover new levels of connection and intimacy that transcend the physical. By communicating openly, seeking help when needed, and finding alternative ways to connect, they can redefine what intimacy means to them and rediscover the joy of sharing life with their partner. Remember that there is no "right" way to be intimate – each couple must explore and experiment until they find what feels right for them. With time and effort, these couples can rebuild trust and develop a stronger relationship than ever before.
How do couples redefine intimacy when trauma has reshaped the soldier's body, senses, or sexual functioning?
When soldiers return from war, they are often physically, emotionally, and mentally altered. The changes that occur can impact their relationships with loved ones. One of these changes is a shift in intimacy. Couples may need to learn new ways to connect sexually, as injuries sustained during combat could lead to physical limitations or diminished desire.