Polyamory and BDSM are both ways that people relate to others sexually, romantically, or intimately. Polyamory is being involved in multiple committed relationships at once. BDSM stands for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadomasochism. These terms may be used interchangeably, but they have different meanings. Bondage involves tying up partners during sex play. Dominance and submission involve power exchange between partners. Sadomasochism is giving or receiving pain for pleasure. Some people practice all three kinks together while also having open relationships.
The term "polyamory" comes from the Greek word "poly", which means many, and "amour", which means love. It refers to an arrangement where one person has more than one partner and everyone agrees to it. They usually do this because monogamy doesn't fit their needs or desires.
Polyamorous people often prioritize communication and honesty within their relationships. People in polyamorous relationships sometimes need to discuss rules beforehand, such as whether or not to disclose information about other partners. People might enter into polyamory because they want variety, emotional fulfillment, companionship, or sexual satisfaction. They may stay monogamous if they feel threatened by jealousy or possessiveness.
BDSM is a form of consensual non-monogamy. In BDSM, people explore their fantasies through roleplaying, including with strangers outside their relationship(s). BDSM can be a way to explore power dynamics safely without hurting anyone. Some people enjoy playing with pain or humiliation. Others like to submit to someone else's will.
People in BDSM may use bondage ropes, collars, or cuffs to restrain their partners during play. The dominant partner takes control over the submissive partner by telling them what to do. Dominance and submission involve exchanging power between partners. For example, one partner may give up control while the other takes charge. Sadomasochism involves giving or receiving pain for pleasure. This includes spanking, flogging, or whipping.
Some people practice all three kinks together while also being in open relationships. This is called "polyfidelity". Polyfidelity is when everyone in a group agrees to be open to new sexual experiences. There are no rules against having sex outside the group, but there are rules on how it should happen. It requires trust and respect among all participants.
Polyamorous and BDSM lifestyles often intersect but can exist independently of each other. Polyamory focuses more on open communication and honesty than BDSM does. People who practice both might have separate relationships with different people depending on what they want from them at any given time. They may choose different partners for different activities or share some of them with others in the group.
These arrangements require clear boundaries and consent beforehand. Everyone involved must agree to these terms and be comfortable with the risks involved. Otherwise, it could lead to hurt feelings or even legal trouble if things go too far. Some polyamorous groups practice safe, sane, and consensual (SSC) BDSM practices. Others do not use this phrase because they think it implies that non-consentual acts like rape are acceptable in BDSM culture.
Some polyamorous and BDSM communities overlap. Others keep their lives completely separate. Either way, people need to understand the differences between these two lifestyles to avoid misunderstandings or confusion.