Relationships are an essential part of human life. They can provide support, companionship, and love for individuals going through difficult times.
Military deployment is one such time that can challenge these connections. When a spouse or partner returns from active duty, they may have changed significantly, both physically and emotionally. This change can make it hard to reconnect with their partner using the same old relational scripts they had before.
Couples develop new relational scripts when previous ways of connecting no longer fit the veteran's emotional reality post-deployment. These changes can affect how couples communicate, express affection, and resolve conflicts. Understanding these challenges can help couples navigate them more effectively and strengthen their relationship after deployment.
New Relational Scripts
To create new relational scripts when previous ones no longer fit the veteran's emotional reality, couples need to focus on communication, intimacy, and conflict resolution. Here are some strategies to consider:
Communication
Communication is key in any relationship, but it becomes even more crucial during deployment. When a veteran returns home, they may feel isolated, disconnected, or misunderstood by their partner. Couples must learn to be patient, understanding, and willing to listen without judgment. Active listening skills, such as asking questions, repeating what they hear back, and summarizing their feelings, can help veterans feel heard and understood.
Intimacy
Intimacy involves physical closeness, sharing personal thoughts and feelings, and feeling emotionally connected to your partner. Military service often creates distance between partners due to separation, stress, and trauma. Veterans may find it difficult to be intimate again after deployment, so couples should prioritize touch, eye contact, and verbal expressions of love. They can also try novel experiences together, such as date nights, vacations, or intimacy exercises.
Conflict Resolution
Conflicts are natural in relationships, but military deployment can intensify them. To resolve conflicts productively, couples should avoid blame, criticism, and defensiveness. Instead, they should focus on active listening, empathy, and compromise. They can also seek professional support from marriage counselors, therapists, or other experts.
Developing new relational scripts when previous ones no longer fit the veteran's emotional reality post-deployment requires patience, communication, intimacy, and conflict resolution strategies. Couples must work together to understand each other's needs and adjust accordingly. With time, dedication, and effort, these challenges can become opportunities for growth and strengthening their relationship.
How do couples develop new relational scripts when previous ways of connecting no longer fit the veteran's emotional reality post-deployment?
In the course of reintegrating into civilian life after deployment, many military veterans experience significant changes in their relationships with partners and loved ones. These changes may be especially challenging if prior relational patterns established during times of peace have become incompatible with the needs and experiences of both parties after exposure to combat and separation. To adjust to these shifts, couples may need to create new relational scripts that better fit their evolving emotional realities.