Dependency is a condition where one person relies on another for emotional or physical support, often due to trauma, abuse, or addiction. In relationships, it can lead to unhealthy dynamics where one partner becomes more controlling and manipulative than the other. This can become apparent through sexual coercion or domination that violates trust, respect, and consent.
Types of Dependence
There are different types of dependence that can arise from various circumstances.
Financial dependency occurs when one person has power over their partner's income and resources. They may force them into performing specific tasks or behaviors to maintain access. Emotional dependence happens when someone lacks confidence or self-esteem and requires constant validation from their partner. Physical dependence involves using substances like drugs or alcohol to feel secure.
Sexual Coercion
Sexual coercion is non-consensual sex that uses intimidation, threats, pressure, or trickery to obtain compliance. It includes rape and marital rape but also less obvious forms such as guilt-tripping or withholding affection until submission. The victim feels trapped in an uncomfortable situation they cannot escape without upsetting the aggressor. Victims may experience anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), or low self-worth.
Control Mechanisms
Controllers use control mechanisms to exert authority over others. These include emotional blackmail, gaslighting, verbal attacks, physical violence, and financial control. They might also isolate their victims by restricting contact with friends or family. They may manipulate them emotionally by making false promises or creating jealousy towards other partners.
Power Dynamics
Power dynamics determine who controls the relationship. Abusers seek out vulnerability and exploit it for their benefit. They may take advantage of addiction, abuse history, age difference, mental illness, or gender identity. Some examples include psychological manipulation, financial exploitation, sexual objectification, and humiliation. Victims may be too scared or ashamed to resist or leave the relationship.
Consent is essential for healthy relationships because it allows individuals to express themselves freely and safely. When one partner takes away a person's autonomy, they lose the right to make decisions about their body and life. This can lead to feelings of helplessness, fear, resentment, and anger. It can negatively impact both parties' mental and physical well-being.
Support Systems
Support systems provide alternative resources that help people avoid dependency. Friends, therapy, support groups, and community organizations can offer guidance on improving interpersonal skills, setting boundaries, finding employment, and establishing personal goals. They create opportunities for growth, healing, and independence from unhealthy relationships. Victims should prioritize self-care and safety during recovery.
How does dependency manifest as sexual control or coercion?
In some relationships, dependency can lead to one partner exerting power over the other by using sex as a tool for control. This can be done through various means such as withholding physical intimacy, making derogatory comments about sexual performance, or threatening to end the relationship if their desires are not met. Such behaviors create an imbalance of power that makes the dependent partner feel more vulnerable and less able to resist demands.