Forgiving someone for wrongdoing is a way to restore trust between individuals.
When forgiveness takes place without any changes in the offender's behavior, it can lead to instability in the relationship. This instability occurs because the offending party may continue to act in ways that are hurtful or damaging to the victim. Without concrete actions to prevent future harm, victims may become distrustful and feel unsafe around their partner. In addition, forgiving without behavioral change sends mixed messages about the seriousness of the transgression and what type of treatment will be acceptable in the future.
This undermines stability in trust restoration and makes it difficult for both parties to move forward with confidence in the relationship.
How does forgiveness work?
When someone commits an offense, they have made a mistake and need to make amends. To forgive them, the victim must let go of anger and resentment towards the offender. Forgiveness allows the victim to let go of negative emotions and focus on rebuilding the relationship.
Forgiveness alone is not enough to restore trust if there are no efforts made by the offender to improve their behavior.
The importance of behavioral change
To truly repair the damage caused by an offense, both parties must demonstrate commitment to positive change. The offender needs to take responsibility for their actions and show that they understand the consequences of their behavior. They should also demonstrate willingness to work towards making things right.
Failure to change behavior creates mistrust
If the offender does not change their behavior, it sends a message that they do not care about the other person's feelings or well-being. It can create a sense of instability in the relationship because the victim feels like they cannot depend on their partner to behave differently in the future. This lack of trust can lead to further conflict and even the end of the relationship.
Mixed signals created by forgiving without behavioral change
When victims forgive without requiring changes from the offender, it creates mixed messages. On one hand, the victim is saying they are ready to move forward and put the past behind them. But on the other hand, they may still feel hurt or threatened by the offender's actions. Without clear boundaries, this confusion can cause tension and anxiety in the relationship. It makes it difficult for both partners to know what is acceptable moving forward.
How does forgiveness without behavioral change undermine stability in trust restoration?
In general terms, forgiveness is an important aspect of human relationships that enables individuals to move on from past hurtful experiences and maintain healthy relationships. When individuals forgive each other, they are able to let go of negative feelings and focus on building new and positive interactions with their partners.