Fluid Desire and Relational Fidelity
Sexual desire is an innate human need that motivates people to seek out pleasure through various forms of physical contact with others.
It is also dynamic and often changes according to context. This means that individuals may feel attracted to multiple partners simultaneously, leading them to question their commitment to one person. This poses a significant challenge for conventional moral theories that dictate strict adherence to relational fidelity, which defines faithfulness as an ethical duty between partners. In this essay, I will explore how fluid desire challenges these traditional concepts.
The Evolutionary Argument Against Monogamy
One prominent argument against monogamy is based on evolutionary theory, which suggests that humans evolved to be polygamous. According to this perspective, men who had many mates produced more offspring than those who were faithful to one woman. Therefore, natural selection favored those who could satisfy their sexual urges without being tied down by a single partner. As a result, humans developed a psychological predisposition towards promiscuity, making long-term relationships difficult to maintain.
This argument ignores the fact that humans have also adapted socially, becoming increasingly committed to exclusive pairings. Throughout history, societies have valued monogamy, and even today, most cultures emphasize lifelong marriages or committed relationships. This indicates that humans are capable of suppressing their biological impulses in favor of social norms and values.
Butterfly Effect Theory
Another argument against monogamy is based on the 'butterfly effect' concept, which suggests that small changes can cause massive ripple effects.
If a married couple has an affair with someone outside their relationship, it can lead to emotional damage, jealousy, betrayal, and divorce. These consequences are often irreversible, leading to negative outcomes for everyone involved.
Traditional moral theories view monogamy as essential for preserving intimacy, trust, and stability within relationships. They argue that infidelity undermines these critical foundations, creating chaos and confusion among partners.
Some scholars believe that these effects can be mitigated through communication and commitment to repairing the relationship.
Polyamory: A Different Approach
Some people challenge conventional moral theories by embracing polyamory, which involves having multiple sexual and romantic partners simultaneously. Polyamorists reject the notion that monogamy is natural or desirable, arguing that it is unrealistic and restrictive. Instead, they prioritize openness, honesty, and consent, allowing all parties to express their sexuality freely.
This approach raises several challenges, such as managing time, energy, and attention between partners. It also requires significant emotional intelligence to navigate complex dynamics and avoid hurt feelings. Therefore, not everyone is suited for polyamory, making it difficult to apply universally.
Fluid desire poses a significant challenge to traditional moral theories of relational fidelity. While humans have evolved to seek pleasure, societal norms encourage exclusive pairings and stable commitments. The butterfly effect theory highlights the potential damage caused by infidelity, while polyamory offers an alternative approach.
Individuals must balance biological impulses with social expectations and personal needs to find fulfillment in their relationships.
How does fluid desire challenge conventional moral theories of relational fidelity?
Fluid desires can be defined as a natural attraction that is not related to any specific individual or relationship but rather to a feeling of connection with different people or entities. This kind of desire has become increasingly popular among young adults and is seen as a challenge to traditional moral theories about relational fidelity. According to these theories, a person should remain faithful to their partner and not indulge in extramarital affairs, which may negatively impact their current relationship.