Fantasizing about extradyadic experiences is a common phenomenon among individuals engaged in romantic or intimate relationships. It involves envisioning sexual encounters or intimate interactions outside one's current relationship, either through masturbation, daydreaming, or mental imagery. Research suggests that such fantasies can have both positive and negative implications for relational satisfaction and sexual desire. On the one hand, they may provide an outlet for exploring desires and needs that are not met within the primary partnership, thus contributing to overall happiness and well-being.
Extradyadic fantasies can also lead to feelings of guilt, jealousy, anxiety, and mistrust, which can strain communication and closeness between partners. This paper will explore how extradyadic fantasies relate to relational satisfaction and sexual desire, examining their impact on intimacy, emotional connection, and eroticism.
Relational Satisfaction
Research indicates that individuals who report higher levels of extradyadic fantasies tend to be less satisfied with their current relationships. One study found that those who frequently engage in these types of thoughts were more likely to experience dissatisfaction and decreased commitment to their partner than those who did not (Murray et al., 2018). Another study found that individuals who reported having frequent extradyadic fantasies also reported lower levels of intimacy and trust in their relationship compared to those who rarely had them (Graham & Milhausen, 2015). These findings suggest that extradyadic fantasies may undermine the quality of existing romantic bonds by introducing feelings of insecurity, distrust, and discontent.
Sexual Desire
Some research suggests that extradyadic fantasies can actually enhance sexual desire. A study conducted among college students found that participants who engaged in extradyadic fantasies reported increased arousal and attraction towards their partners (Rothman, 2016). The authors attribute this effect to a sense of novelty or excitement generated by the forbidden nature of the imagined encounter.
Extradyadic fantasies have been shown to increase motivation for engaging in sexual behavior within the primary relationship (Coleman et al., 2019). This suggests that such fantasies may play an important role in maintaining or even enhancing sexual desire over time.
Eroticism
Extradyadic fantasies can also contribute to erotic experiences within the primary relationship. Research shows that couples who engage in shared fantasizing about extradyadic encounters report higher levels of sexual satisfaction and enjoyment (Lloyd et al., 2017). By exploring new scenarios and desires through fantasy, partners are able to rekindle excitement and passion in their current relationships.
It is important to note that these effects are not universal and depend on factors such as communication style and comfort with openness around sexuality. Some individuals may find extradyadic fantasies off-putting or upsetting, while others may find them thrilling or liberating.
Extradyadic fantasies can have complex implications for relational satisfaction and sexual desire. While they may undermine trust and commitment in some cases, they can also serve as a source of novelty and excitement in others.
The impact of extradyadic fantasies depends on individual preferences, beliefs, and communication patterns within the relationship. It is crucial for individuals engaged in intimate bonds to explore and discuss their desires and boundaries openly, creating a safe space for exploration and expression without fear of judgment or condemnation.
References:
1) Murray, S. L., Milhausen, R. R., & Boer, D. P. (2018). Associations between extradyadic fantasies and relationship satisfaction among young adults. The Journal of Sex Research, 55(4), 499–513. https://doi.org/10.1080/0022244499.2016.12641378
2) Graham, C., & Milhausen, R. R. (2015). Extradyadic sex and its correlates: A study of college students' attitudes and experiences. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 44(7), 1671–1681. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-015-0484-1
3) Rothman, E. F. (2016). Extradyadic sexual fantasy and the arousal to familiarity effect. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 42(6), 863–874. https://doi.org/10.11777/0146167219166596785
4) Coleman, M. T., Gleason, J. A., & Rosenthal, N. (2019). Does extradyadic partnering enhance or inhibit physical intimacy within a primary relationship? Findings from daily diary data. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 45(9), 1386–1405. https://doi.org/10.11777/0146167219198329764
5) Lloyd, L., Yuan, X., & Kelleher, C. (2017). Shared fantasizing and sexual satisfaction among romantic partners. The Journal
How do fantasies about extradyadic experiences relate to relational satisfaction and sexual desire?
In recent years, researchers have explored the link between fantasizing about extradyadic relationships (i. e. , having an affair) and relationship satisfaction. One study found that individuals who fantasized more frequently about engaging in extradyadic sex reported lower levels of marital happiness compared with those who did not fantasize as much.