The question posed is whether impermanence can be viewed as a core principle of authentic queer relationality. To explore this, let's start with a brief definition of impermanence. Impermanence refers to the transience of all things, including people, experiences, and feelings. It emphasizes that nothing lasts forever and that everything changes and eventually ends. In terms of queer relationality, it suggests that relationships are temporary and that one should enjoy them while they last.
Does impermanence mean that relationships cannot be deep and meaningful? Can impermanence really be celebrated as a core principle of queer relationality? Let's take a closer look at this concept through examples from different areas of life.
In the field of art, impermanence is often associated with Japanese art forms such as bonsai trees and ikebana flowers. These pieces are created with an awareness of their eventual demise, but they still bring beauty and joy into people's lives. Similarly, some queer couples may embrace the idea that their relationship will eventually come to an end, but they still cherish every moment together. They might not see the need for marriage or commitment because they understand that nothing lasts forever. This approach allows them to fully experience their connection without fear of losing each other or being disappointed if it doesn't work out in the long run.
In literature, impermanence is also a common theme.
Shakespeare's Sonnet 18 talks about how time will eventually destroy even the most beautiful things, but love can make them eternal by writing them down on paper. Some queer couples may view their relationships in a similar way, recognizing that they won't last forever but choosing to celebrate the beauty they have experienced together while it lasts. They might create memories and stories that they can revisit later, preserving the essence of their connection even after it ends.
Of course, not all queer couples feel comfortable embracing impermanence. Some prefer to focus on building stable and lasting connections, believing that their partner will be there for them no matter what. Others prioritize creating deep emotional bonds, hoping to find someone who will stay with them for life. But whether one chooses to adopt an attitude of acceptance or defiance towards impermanence, it's important to remember that all relationships require effort and maintenance. Both partners must be willing to put in the work necessary to keep the connection strong.