Erotic duplicity refers to the intentional act of concealing one's true sexual desires and preferences from others, particularly in romantic or sexual situations. It can take many forms, such as pretending to enjoy activities that one actually finds unpleasant or hiding one's attraction towards another person. This behavior is often driven by a desire to maintain social norms or avoid judgement.
One reason for engaging in erotic duplicity may be to protect oneself from potential rejection or harm.
Someone who identifies as queer but lives in a conservative community may choose to hide their sexual orientation in order to avoid discrimination or violence. Another reason might be to fit into societal expectations around gender roles or age differences. In heteronormative cultures, women are often expected to appear submissive and passive while men are expected to be assertive and dominant, which can lead some individuals to fake interest in certain sex acts or fantasies that they don't truly feel drawn to.
This behavior also creates contradictions between an individual's private identity and public persona. On one hand, it allows people to present themselves in ways that align with societal norms and expectations, which can be necessary for personal safety or success. On the other hand, it reinforces those same norms and limits personal growth.
Suppressing one's true desires can cause stress, anxiety, and guilt, leading to internal conflicts and mental health issues.
Erotic duplicity can even create a vicious cycle where individuals become trapped in false identities and relationships.
Someone who consistently fakes enthusiasm for sex may eventually find themselves unable to express genuine passion when they meet a partner who actually shares their interests. Similarly, someone who has been forced to suppress their attraction towards others of a different race, class, or religion may struggle to connect authentically when presented with opportunities outside of their comfort zone.
Erotic duplicity is a complex phenomenon with both positive and negative consequences. While it can help individuals navigate difficult social situations, it can also reinforce harmful power dynamics and limit self-expression. By exploring these themes further, we can better understand our own sexuality, relationships, and society as a whole.
Can erotic duplicity be understood as a mechanism for negotiating contradictions between private identity and public persona?
Yes, it can be argued that sexual deception is an effective way of navigating the conflict between personal identity and social roles. Research suggests that individuals who engage in extramarital affairs tend to view their partner's marital status as being more important than their own when compared to those who do not cheat (Sprecher & Felmlee, 1986).