Conflict can have a negative impact on physical and emotional intimacy between partners. It is common knowledge that when there are frequent disagreements, fights, or tension between romantic partners, it can be detrimental to their overall relationship satisfaction. But what many people don't realize is that this type of conflict can also indirectly affect their sex life. Chronic conflict in nonsexual areas of a relationship can cause decreased desire, lower arousal levels, and less openness towards erotic exploration. This means that even if couples are having regular intercourse but avoid discussing serious issues like money, work stress, parenting challenges, family matters, or personal goals, they may still experience a decline in sexual pleasure. Let's explore why this happens.
Chronic conflict leads to increased cortisol levels in the body. Cortisol is a hormone released during times of stress which has been linked to decreased testosterone production in men and oxytocin production in both genders. Testosterone plays an important role in libido and erectile function for males while oxytocin helps with arousal, orgasm, and bonding in females. When these hormones are reduced due to chronic stress caused by ongoing conflicts, it can negatively affect sexual function.
Being constantly stressed out can lead to feelings of exhaustion and lack of motivation making it difficult to engage in any form of intimacy including sex.
Chronic conflict creates an environment where trust and safety become compromised. Feeling unsafe or untrusting of your partner can make you feel guarded and distant emotionally. This lack of emotional closeness can then spill over into the bedroom resulting in decreased physical closeness as well. The more resentment builds up between partners, the less likely they will want to be vulnerable enough to let go and enjoy each other intimately. In essence, when there is little trust or safety in the relationship outside of the bedroom, it makes it hard to relax and open up in the bedroom as well.
When couples avoid discussing serious issues due to ongoing conflict, it can create resentment and hurt feelings that eventually come out in unexpected ways. These can manifest themselves through passive-aggressive behavior, withdrawal, or aggression towards one another leading to further damage in the relationship. But this can also happen during intimate moments such as when one partner initiates sex or tries to be romantic only to be rejected or ignored.
This can lead to a decrease in desire, arousal, and erotic openness due to feeling rebuffed or unappreciated.
While many people may think that nonsexual conflicts have no bearing on their sexual life, research shows otherwise. Chronic stress caused by constant disagreements can cause hormonal changes leading to lower libido and arousal levels, while a lack of trust and safety created by ongoing tension can make physical intimacy challenging.
Frustration stemming from unresolved arguments often comes out in unexpected ways making it difficult for partners to feel comfortable being physically close again. So if you're experiencing chronic conflict with your partner, take some time to address those underlying issues before expecting improvements in your sex life.
How does chronic conflict in nonsexual areas of a relationship indirectly affect desire, arousal, and erotic openness?
Severe conflict in nonsexual areas of a relationship can negatively impact desire, arousal, and erotic openness. In many cases, it might even lead to a reduction in sexual intimacy as partners avoid having sex altogether due to tensions within the relationship. Conflict in nonsexual areas such as finances, parenting, family obligations, or career decisions may cause stress, resentment, and anxiety that spills over into the bedroom.