As mental health professionals who work closely with military veterans affected by post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), we have observed that many struggle to sustain intimate relationships due to their altered emotional state. In particular, PTSD can affect a person's ability to express and respond to feelings of love, trust, and commitment, which are key components of successful romantic partnerships. This is because the symptoms of PTSD can cause a veteran to feel fearful, suspicious, or angry even when they are safe and secure in their relationship. As a result, couples may find it difficult to communicate openly about their needs and desires without triggering negative reactions from their partner.
There are several relational strategies that couples can use to maintain intimacy in these situations.
It's important for both parties to prioritize communication. This means being willing to share thoughts, feelings, and experiences honestly and respectfully, even if doing so feels challenging. It also involves active listening and empathy, which allows each person to truly understand the other's perspective. When couples can connect on an emotional level through dialogue, they build trust and strengthen their bond. Second, practicing self-care individually and as a couple can help alleviate the effects of trauma. This includes engaging in activities such as exercise, meditation, or art therapy that promote relaxation and reduce anxiety.
Setting clear boundaries around what is acceptable behavior within the relationship can prevent misunderstandings and avoid unnecessary conflict. Third, engaging in physical affection such as hugging, kissing, and cuddling can be a powerful way to show support and connection during times of distress.
Seeking professional help from a trained mental health provider can provide additional guidance and support as individuals work towards healing and reconnection.
While navigating intimacy after trauma is not easy, with patience and effort, couples can maintain close relationships despite the challenges presented by PTSD. By using effective communication skills, practicing self-care, establishing clear boundaries, and expressing physical affection, couples can create a safe space where both partners feel supported and loved.
What relational strategies help couples maintain intimacy when trauma alters veterans' emotional availability?
In their research on veterans' relationships, Schumm et al. (2019) found that sharing positive experiences with one another helped couples maintain intimacy. They also emphasized the importance of mutual respect, open communication, and support for each other during difficult times. Additionally, therapy can be beneficial in helping both partners better understand and navigate challenges related to intimacy.