The idea that people can have close, deep, meaningful, exclusive friendships is relatively new compared to historical norms for romantic partnerships. Platonic love was thought to be impossible until recently. Therefore, it has not been studied much by social scientists.
This does not mean that platonic friendship cannot provide emotional support, fulfillment, pleasure, companionship, belonging, fun, laughter, conversation, entertainment, activities, and comfort. As research has begun, scholars have found that sexual compatibility can influence many aspects of platonic friendships.
When friends enjoy similar sex lives, they can share more experiences together. They can go out to bars, nightclubs, concerts, plays, and restaurants without feeling awkward about their different levels of interest in sexual pursuits. When friends are very different in terms of what they like to do, they may grow apart after some time because of their diverging priorities. Sexual compatibility can also affect how much intimacy two friends share with each other. If one person wants to discuss everything while another likes to keep things light, there could be tension. Also, if one friend shares information about sexual desires or activities while the other feels uncomfortable hearing such topics, this can damage the relationship.
Some friends may find themselves falling into a relationship because they are so compatible sexually. This can make it difficult to remain just friends.
It is important to note that even among friends who are not sexually compatible, there are often long-term relationships. Some people prefer to focus on other areas of life, such as career, family, hobbies, travel, service, sports, charity work, education, art, literature, music, theatre, religion, spirituality, politics, history, psychology, philosophy, science, technology, engineering, math, medicine, and sociology. These shared interests can bring friends closer together and strengthen bonds over time.
Those who only share sexual interests may experience challenges over the years.
As we think about the future of our society, it is essential to consider the role of platonic friendship. Friendships have been shown to improve health, happiness, productivity, success, longevity, satisfaction, and overall quality of life. They provide support when times are hard and joy when things go well. Platonic relationships are especially important for those who cannot or choose not to pursue romantic partnerships. Therefore, we should encourage people to maintain their close friends, regardless of whether they match up in terms of sex and intimacy.
How do varying levels of sexual compatibility influence the quality and sustainability of platonic friendships?
Research suggests that sexual compatibility can play an important role in the formation, maintenance, and dissolution of platonic friendships due to its impact on intimacy and trust. Intimacy involves feeling comfortable sharing personal information and experiences with someone else, while trust involves being confident in their ability to keep this information private. Sexual compatibility refers to shared attitudes, behaviors, and preferences regarding sex and sexuality.