When it comes to relationships, romantic ones especially, people often have ideals about what they want their partners to be like - their physical appearance, personality traits, interests, beliefs, values, behaviors, etc. These ideals can influence how people view potential partners, and even existing ones. They may idealize them to such an extent that they are unwilling to acknowledge their flaws, risks, or boundaries because doing so would mean confronting uncomfortable truths. Idealization can also lead to a false sense of security, making it harder for someone to set healthy boundaries. This can result in emotional manipulation, control issues, or other negative consequences.
People can become attached to their idealized version of a partner, which makes it difficult to accept reality. They may ignore red flags, rationalize bad behavior, or stay in abusive relationships because they see no way out. It can also cause them to miss out on good relationships due to inflexible criteria. The longer this goes on, the more entrenched the pattern becomes and the more likely it is to cause harm.
Idealization can make people feel vulnerable and insecure if they recognize that their partner does not match up to expectations. This can lead to self-doubt, jealousy, and anxiety, as well as an increased desire for approval or validation from others. People may seek external affirmation instead of working through their own insecurities, which further perpetuates the cycle of idealization.
Idealizing can lead to risky behavior, like engaging in unsafe sex with multiple partners, drug use, or reckless financial decisions. When people prioritize perfection over safety, they may put themselves at risk without fully understanding the potential consequences.
Idealization is a normal part of human psychology but can be problematic when taken too far. It's important to acknowledge our ideals and work to find balance between them and realism. With time and effort, we can learn to identify what matters most and develop healthier ways of relating to ourselves and others.
How does idealization alter willingness to acknowledge flaws, risks, or boundaries?
The process of idealization can lead individuals to be less willing to acknowledge flaws, risks, or boundaries due to their perception that the object of their affection is perfect in every way. This can result in an individual overlooking potential warning signs that might otherwise cause them to reconsider the relationship or situation.