A shared traumatic experience can be defined as an event that is so stressful, shocking, or frightening that it causes significant emotional damage to those who witness or experience it. This type of event can include natural disasters, accidents, violence, war, abuse, or even medical emergencies. Shared traumas are unique because they involve multiple people experiencing the same event simultaneously. These experiences can have a profound impact on individuals' lives, including their mental health, physical well-being, and ability to function in daily life. For couples, sharing such an experience can also affect their relationship and long-term resilience. In this article, I will explore how shared trauma can impact same-sex military couples and their resilience.
Impact of Trauma on Individual Resiliency
Traumatic events often result in feelings of fear, anxiety, and helplessness. They can leave individuals feeling isolated, vulnerable, and powerless. This can lead to increased levels of stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, which can cause physical symptoms like headaches, muscle tension, and insomnia. It can also trigger the fight-or-flight response, which prepares individuals for immediate action but can be detrimental to overall health when experienced regularly.
Trauma can cause lasting changes in brain chemistry and structure, leading to difficulties with memory, attention, and decision-making.
Resilience in Relationships
Resilience refers to the ability to recover from adversity and bounce back stronger than before. Research has shown that individuals who have high levels of social support, positive relationships, and a sense of meaning in life tend to be more resilient in the face of trauma.
Traumatic experiences can damage these protective factors and make it harder for people to cope with stressors. Shared traumas, like those experienced by military service members, add another layer of complexity because they can impact both partners' mental health and the relationship itself.
The Experience of Same-Sex Military Couples
Same-sex military couples are unique because they must navigate not only their own experiences of shared trauma but also the unique challenges faced by LGBTQ+ individuals in the military. Service members may experience discrimination or harassment related to their sexual orientation or gender identity, which can exacerbate the effects of shared trauma. They may also struggle with feelings of isolation, as many communities do not recognize or accept same-sex relationships. This can lead to increased stress and difficulty seeking help or support.
Impact on Relationship Functioning
Trauma can affect all aspects of a relationship, including communication, intimacy, and trust. Partners may become hypervigilant, fearful, or avoidant, leading to tension and conflict. They may struggle to share their experiences or feel misunderstood by each other. These patterns can contribute to a cycle of negative interaction, further damaging the relationship and making it difficult to heal from the original trauma. In addition, trauma can disrupt basic bonding processes, such as attachment and affection, which are essential for maintaining closeness and connection over time.
Building Resilience Together
While shared trauma can be destructive to resilience and relationships, there are ways that couples can build resilience together. First, it is important to acknowledge the impact of the traumatic event and create a safe space for both partners to process their emotions. This may involve therapy, counseling, or simply allowing each partner to express themselves freely without judgment or interruption. Secondly, couples should engage in activities that promote connection and intimacy, like physical touch, exercise, or hobbies.
They must work to rebuild trust and develop positive coping strategies together, such as deep breathing exercises, meditation, or journaling. By building these skills, couples can strengthen their relationship and increase their ability to cope with future stressors.
In what ways do shared traumatic experiences impact the long-term resilience of same-sex military couples?
Shared traumatic experiences can have a significant impact on the long-term resilience of same-sex military couples as they may lead to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms such as nightmares, flashbacks, hypervigilance, and avoidance behaviors. This can result in relationship difficulties due to changes in communication patterns, trust issues, and intimacy problems.