The erotic is not something you do—it's something you are
"We all know about sex, but what is erotic?" This is the question that Anais Nin poses in her essay "Sexual Attitude and Behavior" from the collection In Favor of the Sensitive Man. She continues to explain that "the erotic is a sense of life itself; there is no separation between the spiritual and sensual." It is an experience that transcends physical pleasure alone. According to Nin, the erotic encompasses a wide range of experiences that can be physical, emotional, mental, intellectual, and even artistic. It is not just something that happens during intercourse, but rather, it is a state of being that permeates every aspect of our lives.
To uncover the erotic, one must first understand that it is not something external that they pursue or chase after. Rather, it is something that emerges naturally from within oneself when conditions are ripe for it. As Nin writes, "There is nothing more difficult than to approach this emotionally charged subject without prejudice and yet with depth." The key is to cultivate self-awareness and explore one's own desires and needs honestly and openly. This involves examining one's feelings and beliefs about sex, relationships, and intimacy. It also requires taking risks and embracing vulnerability by trying new things, exploring boundaries, and communicating with partners.
The erotic is not just about physical stimulation or sexual gratification. It is a way of relating to others on a deeper level, of connecting on a fundamental human level. It is about trust, respect, and understanding. It is about the ability to let go and surrender completely to another person, knowing that you are safe in their arms. To discover the erotic, we must learn how to listen deeply to ourselves and to those around us, opening ourselves up to both pleasure and pain, joy and sorrow.
In conclusion, uncovering the erotic requires a willingness to delve into the complexities of sex, relationships, and intimacy. It demands honesty, courage, and vulnerability. By doing so, we can experience a greater sense of fulfillment and satisfaction in our lives.