The term "relationship" can be broadly defined as an emotional attachment between two or more people. But what is "normal" when it comes to sexual behavior within those relationships? This question has been debated for centuries, with different cultures and societies having varying perspectives on acceptable norms. Internalized societal messages about "normal" sexual behavior play a significant role in shaping individual's perception of their own relational self-concept, which refers to how they view themselves in relation to others.
Society often portrays certain types of relationships as ideal, such as heterosexual monogamy or asexuality. These messages are transmitted through media, popular culture, family, friends, peers, and other institutions. Individuals who deviate from these norms may feel shame or guilt, leading them to internalize negative beliefs about their sexuality.
Someone who identifies as queer may struggle with feelings of worthlessness because society views homosexuality as abnormal. Similarly, someone who enjoys BDSM activities may experience social stigma that affects their self-esteem.
Social messaging about sex influences how individuals perceive their partners' expectations and preferences. If individuals believe that their partner desires a specific type of relationship, they may become anxious if they cannot meet those expectations. They may also limit their exploration of alternative options out of fear of upsetting the status quo.
A man who assumes his wife prefers vanilla sex may avoid trying new things because he worries she will be uncomfortable.
Societal norms around gender roles can impact sexual interactions. Men and women are expected to act differently when it comes to intimacy, with men being seen as more aggressive and dominant while women are supposed to be submissive and passive. This pressure can lead to confusion for individuals who do not fit into traditional categories. A woman may worry her male partner will think less of her if she initiates sex, while a man may feel guilty for rejecting advances due to his conditioning.
Internalized societal messages on sexual behavior contribute significantly to shaping relational self-concept, creating anxiety, insecurity, and misunderstandings among individuals and couples. Understanding these factors is crucial for addressing them effectively, promoting healthy relationships, and fostering acceptance and inclusion within communities.
How does internalized societal messaging about “normal” sexual behavior influence relational self-concept?
Research has indicated that individuals' experiences with their partnerships are influenced by their beliefs about what is socially accepted as "normal" sexual behavior. This could mean that people may feel ashamed or embarrassed if they engage in activities outside of these norms, which can negatively impact their sense of self-worth and intimacy within the relationship.