Online dating is becoming more popular every day. It's convenient for people who can't find love in their real life, live in areas where there are fewer potential partners, or lack social skills. People often create profiles with attractive photos, interesting bios, and impressive achievements. They choose to meet someone compatible with their personality, beliefs, values, age, religion, background, education level, lifestyle preferences, appearance, or physical traits.
What happens after they decide to go on a date? Can online behavior influence attraction and relational initiation? Here are some examples.
1. Physical attractiveness is still a crucial factor. Researchers found that most people preferred dates whose pictures showed them smiling, making eye contact, looking natural, showing off body parts, and having a clear skin tone. The same study showed that selfies taken from above had an advantage because they made participants look taller and thinner. Daters also liked pictures with bright colors, good lighting, no distracting objects, and minimal background noise. These factors have nothing to do with compatibility but affect sexual attraction immediately.
2. Personality traits matter too. People want someone similar to themselves, kind, supportive, adventurous, confident, intelligent, funny, mature, independent, honest, trustworthy, ambitious, loyal, non-judgmental, and caring. But some qualities may be perceived differently based on how you present yourself.
Being "fun" might sound like a positive trait until the other person discovers your sense of humor isn't shared. Your profile can reveal these details before meeting in person, allowing them to form an opinion or decide not to pursue further communication.
3. Self-presentation matters. Someone who exaggerates their skills or achievements may seem more impressive than those who don't. A potential partner can evaluate this information beforehand and judge accordingly. Also, people with high social status or wealth tend to receive more attention from others, even though this doesn't guarantee better relationships. On the contrary, research shows that low self-esteem, anxiety, insecurity, fears, insecurities, neediness, or desperation are turnoffs for most people.
4. Communication is essential. Online messaging allows daters to share opinions, interests, preferences, beliefs, values, hopes, dreams, expectations, goals, intentions, etc., making it easier to find common ground.
If they disagree on fundamental issues like politics, religion, ethics, culture, or lifestyle, things won't work out well. Still, online dating offers opportunities to learn about each other before meeting physically, reducing the risk of mismatches and disappointment later on.
5. Chemistry happens in person. The first date can determine whether there's sexual attraction or relational initiation. If someone looks different from their pictures, acts uncomfortably, behaves awkwardly, dresses inappropriately, talks too much or too little, smells bad, uses body language poorly, makes unpleasant jokes, seems creepy, comes late or early, brings uninvited friends, takes too many selfies, etc., you might not feel attracted enough to pursue anything further. Yet, if everything goes smoothly, a second date may be possible.
6. Physical intimacy matters. Touching, kissing, hugging, holding hands, cuddling, or having sex can increase feelings of closeness and commitment. But some behaviors are incompatible with one another and should never happen on a first date (e.g., groping without consent). Daters must understand what's appropriate and respectful for both parties involved. Some people want more physical contact than others, which isn't always feasible after just one meeting. Therefore, it's essential to talk openly about these expectations beforehand and avoid misunderstandings.
7. Relationship dynamics matter. Even though modern couples value equality and independence, men still tend to initiate romantic relationships and women to reject them. This behavioral pattern is ingrained in our culture and could lead to unwanted advances.
Some women prefer dating apps because they allow them to make the first move and control who approaches them. The same happens with gender non-conforming individuals whose sexual orientation is fluid and flexible.
Online dating has advantages and disadvantages that affect attraction and relational initiation differently depending on individual factors like personality traits, communication style, self-presentation, appearance, physical intimacy, relationship dynamics, etc. Understanding this information helps daters find compatible partners without wasting time or feeling disappointed later.
How do online dating behaviors and self-presentation affect sexual attraction and relational initiation?
Online dating behavior and self-presentation are known to influence both the level of attraction and likelihood of initiating a relationship with someone online. Individuals tend to be more attracted to profiles that match their personal values, preferences, interests, and appearance standards. Moreover, they are less likely to initiate communication with people who have different traits than them, which is due to perceived differences in personality, lifestyle, and beliefs.