Many religions have traditions that are restrictive about sexual expression and forbid certain behaviors or desires. This is true of Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Sikhism, Shintoism, Taoism, Zoroastrianism, and most others.
Some religions believe men and women cannot touch each other except for procreation; while others require sexual intercourse only within marriage and exclusively between husband and wife; others say men may not look at women's bodies; still others prohibit masturbation or all forms of non-procreative sex. Religious doctrine says these restrictions are moral laws given to humanity by God. But how do religious women reinterpret such doctrine? They start by asking themselves, "What does God really mean?" Then they look at their own emotional needs, desires, and experiences, and ask themselves, "How can I honor both those needs and God's will?"
They consider the contexts in which they live, including family, society, culture, politics, economics, history, technology, and the physical world.
Reinterpreting Doctrine
Religious women interpret doctrine through four lenses:
1) The Law Lens
The law lens asks, "Does this rule contradict a fundamental principle of God's character?" If yes, then it might be wrong or incomplete. Sometimes God gives exceptions to the rules, as when He allowed David to marry many wives after he committed adultery with Bathsheba (2 Samuel 5). Or maybe there was no violation, but the rule is ambiguous or unfair.
Leviticus 20:18 forbids any man from having intercourse with his father's wife, even if she is a widow. If a woman believes her father-in-law is a good person, she might question whether it is truly immoral for her to have sex with him.
2) The Context Lens
The context lens asks, "Are there circumstances that change how we apply the rule?" If so, the context becomes the new reality, and the rule must change too. Examples include polygamy (allowing multiple husbands), polyandry (allowing multiple wives), celibacy (abstaining from all sexual relationships), same-sex marriage (marriage between two men or two women), incestuous marriages (between parent and child), open relationships (multiple partners at once), and more. Some religions allow these practices, while others do not. It depends on the particular situation.
3) The Human Lens
The human lens asks, "Is there another way to fulfill my needs besides breaking the rule?" Yes, sometimes people can satisfy their desires without sinning. A nun in a Catholic order may choose lifelong virginity, rather than break her vows by dating; a married couple who abstain from non-procreative sex may still enjoy each other through kissing and caressing; someone who cannot find an ideal spouse may remain single and pursue spiritual fulfillment instead. These options require sacrifice but offer deeper meaning in the long run.
4) The Spiritual Lens
The spiritual lens asks, "How can I experience God's presence and grace even when I am denied physical pleasure?" This requires prayer, meditation, contemplation, fasting, and other devotional acts. By seeking God with greater intensity, religious women may find satisfaction beyond the material world and learn that true joy comes from loving others as Christ does. They may also discover ways to express love and affection without touching bodies, such as hugging, holding hands, looking into each other's eyes, or sharing emotions.
Authorizing Desire and Enjoyment
Religious women use doctrine to authorize desire and enjoyment in many ways:
1) Reinterpreting Rules
Women reinterpret rules to allow for new forms of intimacy. In Hinduism, some widows have sex with priests (though this is rare). Some Muslims engage in group marriages (though this is forbidden in Islam). Many Christian couples avoid intercourse during pregnancy, which allows them to experience sexual pleasure without breaking God's commandments.
2) Changing Contexts
Couples may change their context to fit their needs.
A woman might choose a polyandrous marriage so she can stay close to her husband while raising children alone after he dies; or a man might marry a second wife to prevent himself from committing adultery; or a lesbian couple might decide to live together rather than be celibate. These decisions are not easy but can bring fulfillment through sacrifice.
3) Satisfying Needs
Some people find physical release through non-sexual means, like masturbation. Others pursue spirituality instead of sex by praying more intensely or seeking deeper meaning in their lives. Still others seek companionship outside marriage by dating casually or using online services like Tinder or Bumble. There are no clear answers here since everyone is different. The key is to honor your body, mind, heart, and soul all at once.
4) Experiencing Joy
Finding joy through devotion requires effort and humility. It takes time to learn how God works in our lives and what He wants us to do. But when we surrender ourselves completely to Him, we discover that love is more than just touching bodiesit is also about giving ourselves fully to another person and letting God guide the relationship. This journey can be painful but rewarding, especially if you trust Him enough to let go of selfish desires.
Religious women must reconcile their sexuality with doctrine. They must balance their emotional needs against moral laws that may seem unfair or restrictive. By reinterpreting rules, changing contexts, satisfying needs without sinning, and experiencing God's presence intimately, they can authorize desire and enjoyment while remaining faithful to their beliefs.
How do religious women reinterpret doctrine to authorize desire and enjoyment?
While many religions stipulate specific sexual norms that are often viewed as conservative, some religious women find ways to reinterpret these norms and engage in sexual pleasure within their belief system. Some of them might view sexual acts as a means to deepen their spiritual connection with God, while others may explore alternative sexual practices such as BDSM or polyamory.