What are some strategies that help to maintain stable relationships between LGBT couples who experience frequent mobilizations and deployments?
Research suggests that the stress associated with military life can put a strain on romantic relationships, especially for LGBT couples who face additional challenges due to discrimination and stigma.
There are several strategies that have been found to facilitate relational stability for these couples when they undergo repeated mobilization and deployment cycles. One important strategy is communication.
Communication
Communication involves sharing thoughts, feelings, and experiences openly and honestly. In the context of military life, this means discussing concerns about upcoming deployments, changes in routine, and potential separation anxiety. It also means being transparent about any new experiences or social interactions during deployment.
A soldier might share details of their time abroad while their partner remains at home, including new friends, activities, and experiences. This helps to build trust and intimacy even when physically apart.
Another key aspect of communication is active listening. When partners listen attentively, they demonstrate care and support, which strengthens the relationship. Active listening involves paying attention to nonverbal cues, such as body language and tone of voice, as well as responding thoughtfully to what is said. It requires setting aside distractions and giving the speaker your full attention. By actively listening, partners show each other that they value their connection and want to understand their needs.
Physical Connection
Physical touch, whether in person or through technology, is another important component of maintaining a healthy relationship. Touch releases oxytocin, the "love hormone" associated with bonding and attachment. While physical contact may not be possible during deployment, partners can still maintain a strong emotional connection by exchanging affectionate messages, sending photos, and participating in virtual dates and activities together.
Time Management
Effective time management is crucial for LGBT couples facing frequent separations. This includes creating a schedule that prioritizes quality time together when reunited and making use of technology to stay connected in between deployments. Setting specific times for phone calls, video chats, and date nights can help to create a sense of normalcy and consistency.
Partners can engage in shared activities, such as watching movies together over FaceTime or planning trips for when one partner returns home.
Financial Stability
Frequent deployments often result in financial instability due to missed paychecks and unpredictable schedules.
Partners can work together to manage money effectively by establishing budgets, tracking expenses, and saving for emergencies. This involves open communication about income, debt, and spending habits, and working together to make sound financial decisions.
Support Network
Having a support network outside of the couple can also contribute to relational stability. Family members, friends, and community organizations can provide emotional support and practical assistance during difficult times. LGBT-specific organizations, such as the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (SLDN), offer legal advice and advocacy to help navigate military life successfully. Partners can encourage each other to take advantage of these resources to maintain their own well-being and strengthen their bond.
Maintaining a stable relationship in the face of repeated mobilizations and deployments requires intentionality and effort. By prioritizing communication, physical connection, time management, and support from others, LGBT couples can weather this challenging aspect of military life with greater ease and resilience.
What strategies facilitate relational stability for LGBT couples experiencing repeated mobilization and deployment cycles?
Research on military families suggests that one of the most important predictors of relationship satisfaction is the quality of communication between partners (Chambers et al. , 2014). In this regard, it may be especially helpful for LGBT couples experiencing frequent deployments to engage in open and honest communication about their feelings and concerns regarding separation and reunion.