Developing Coping Strategies
The need for affection and acceptance is innate in human beings from birth. Children who feel rejected or neglected may develop behavioral patterns that help them cope with their emotions. In some cultures, including those influenced by Abrahamic religions, parents often explain divine justice to children who have experienced rejection or disappointment.
They might say something like "God has a plan" or "He knows what's best."
These explanations can cause confusion and feelings of jealousy in children who are unable to understand why others seem to receive more love and attention than themselves. How do children reconcile these conflicting emotions?
One strategy is denial. Children may choose to ignore their feelings of sadness or pain in an attempt to avoid facing them. They may pretend that everything is fine when it isn't, trying to convince themselves and others that they don't care about the situation. This can lead to resentment and anger towards the person who caused the problem, but also prevent them from getting the support they need to heal.
Another coping mechanism is rationalization. Children may try to make sense of the situation by justifying it logically. They may reason that they deserve less attention because they are bad or not as deserving as other family members. This can lead to low self-esteem and negative beliefs about themselves.
Children may also engage in projection, blaming others for their own feelings. They may become aggressive or angry at siblings or peers, projecting their frustration onto them instead of dealing with it directly. This can damage relationships and increase conflict within the family unit.
A final strategy is spirituality. Children may turn to religion or faith to help them cope with their emotional struggles. They may pray, attend services, or read religious texts in an effort to find comfort and understanding. This can be a healthy way to process difficult experiences, but it can also create distance between the child and those around them.
Coping strategies are individualized and unique to each child. Some may work better than others, and some may be more harmful than helpful. It is important for parents and caregivers to provide support and guidance to children who are struggling with these issues. With patience and compassion, children can learn to reconcile their feelings and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
What coping strategies do children develop to reconcile feelings of neglect or jealousy with religious explanations of divine justice?
Children who experience neglect or jealousy may employ various coping mechanisms to deal with these emotions. One common way is through religion, where they believe that their suffering is part of God's plan for them and accept it as an act of faith. This can provide comfort and a sense of meaning during difficult times. Children may also engage in activities that distract them from their negative emotions, such as sports or artistic pursuits.