The term "emotional reciprocity" refers to a process whereby individuals exchange feelings and thoughts in an equal manner. When two people have strong emotions for each other, they are said to be in an emotionally reciprocal relationship. In many cases, this means that both parties feel a sense of belonging and appreciation towards one another, while also being able to trust that the other person will always be there when needed. This is especially true for military families, who face unique challenges due to their role in protecting others. Veterans often struggle to balance this instinct with the need to allow emotional reciprocity within their own homes.
When veterans return home from serving abroad, they may experience difficulties adjusting back into civilian life. They must learn how to reconnect with family members who are unfamiliar with what they have been through, while dealing with post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms and anxiety about their safety. At the same time, they must also grapple with feelings of guilt and shame for surviving while others didn't. This can lead them to withdraw from relationships or avoid intimacy altogether. They may become irritable or distant, or even abusive if they don't get enough support. It is important for loved ones to understand these issues so that they can help their veteran partner deal with them.
One way veterans can achieve emotional reciprocity is by sharing stories of their experiences without going into too much detail. Telling a little bit at a time allows family members to slowly build up a deeper understanding of what it was like on the battlefield. If possible, it can also be helpful to share photos or videos from deployment. This will give everyone a more complete picture of what happened during service, as well as provide closure on some traumatic memories.
Another method of achieving emotional reciprocity is through physical touch. A hug, handholding, or kiss can show someone you care about them without words.
If your partner has PTSD symptoms such as nightmares or flashbacks, giving them a massage before bedtime might ease their anxiety and make them feel safe again.
It is important to create a space where both partners can express themselves freely. This means allowing each other to speak openly about fears, hopes, and dreams. It doesn't matter if one person talks more than another; just listen attentively and validate whatever they say. By creating this environment of trust and respect, couples can work together towards healing from any past hurts and move forward in life together.
How do veterans balance the instinct to protect their families with the need to allow emotional reciprocity?
Veterans must learn how to balance their need for protection with the need to be emotionally available to their family members. This is particularly difficult for those who have experienced trauma during combat or deployment. The need to protect one's family may cause a veteran to become hypervigilant, which can lead to feelings of anxiety or paranoia.