The idea of "queer temporality" is often associated with the concept of time being fluid and non-linear, which challenges traditional ideas about linear time and fixed chronologies. This notion can also be applied to relationships and their development, especially those that involve power dynamics, gender roles, and hierarchies. By exploring how queer temporalities can inform our understanding of relationships, we can cultivate moral attentiveness to ongoing processes of becoming, relationality, and transformation.
Queer temporality suggests that there are many different ways of experiencing and perceiving time, and that it is not always possible to map out a clear path from beginning to end. In romantic or sexual relationships, this means that there may be multiple beginnings, endings, and transitions within each relationship. There may be multiple stages of intimacy, each with its own unique rhythms and patterns. Rather than seeing these as discrete phases, queer temporalities encourages us to view them as interconnected moments of mutual growth and change. This can help us recognize that no relationship is static, but rather in constant flux, and that both partners must remain open to new possibilities for connection.
One way to apply this idea is through the use of polyamory or open relationships. These arrangements challenge traditional monogamy by allowing multiple partnerships and different levels of commitment within a single relationship structure. Polyamorous relationships are inherently dynamic, as they require individuals to navigate multiple sets of rules, boundaries, and expectations. By embracing queer temporality, polyamorists can approach these complexities with greater awareness and flexibility. They may choose to prioritize communication, negotiation, and transparency over strict definitions of fidelity or exclusivity. This can lead to more nuanced understandings of trust, intimacy, and vulnerability, which may enhance personal growth and development.
Another application of queer temporality is in the exploration of power dynamics within relationships. Power imbalances, such as those based on gender, race, class, or ability, can often feel fixed and immovable.
By recognizing that time is not linear, we can see how these hierarchies are constantly shifting and being re-negotiated.
A cisgender man who identifies as straight may hold more power in a heteronormative society, while a nonbinary person may have more agency within an LGBTQ+ community. Queer temporalities invite us to question these assumptions and consider how power can be shared and redistributed across diverse contexts.
In terms of sexual attraction, queer temporality encourages us to explore the fluidity of desire. Rather than viewing attractions as static or rigid, we can recognize that desires can shift and evolve over time.
Someone might initially experience romantic attraction towards a partner, but later develop platonic affection for them after a period of intimacy. Similarly, sexual preferences can change and expand beyond traditional binaries of "gay" or "straight." By embracing these changes, individuals can cultivate greater self-awareness and empathy, leading to deeper connections with others.
Queer temporality also informs our understanding of relationship transitions. The end of one relationship does not mean the end of all connections; instead, it may represent a new beginning for both partners. This can lead to unexpected moments of transformation, wherein old ideas about identity, intimacy, and connection give way to something new. As such, relationships can become a site of ongoing growth and renewal, rather than a fixed point in time.
Exploring queer temporality offers unique insights into how we perceive and understand relationships. It invites us to challenge conventional notions of time, commitment, and hierarchy, and opens up new possibilities for personal development and social justice. Through this lens, we can foster moral attentiveness to the complex processes of becoming, relationality, and transformation that shape our lives and relationships.
This article has explored the concept of queer temporality and its potential applications within the realm of relationships. By embracing nonlinear time, polyamory, power dynamics, fluid desires, and transformative transitions, we can cultivate greater moral attentiveness to ongoing processes of becoming, relationality, and transformation. Queer temporalities offer an alternative perspective that challenges traditional ideas about relationships, and encourages us to remain open to new possibilities for connection, growth, and change.
How might queer temporality cultivate moral attentiveness to ongoing processes of becoming, relationality, and transformation?
The idea that there is no final state of being “queer” implies an ongoing process of becoming, which requires constant attention to one's relationship with others. Queer individuals may experience fluidity in their identities and expressions over time, making them more open to embracing change and transformation. This can lead to a heightened sensitivity to social norms and expectations that are often imposed on non-heteronormative sexual orientations and gender identities.