Sexual patience is a state in which one delays gratification, control oneself from acting impulsively, and shows restraint in regards to one's sexual desires or urges. Religious teachings have often been used to justify this behavior and promote it as a virtue that leads to spiritual growth and mental wellbeing.
The concept of sexual patience has also been exploited by religious institutions to perpetuate misogyny, homophobia, and transphobia. In traditional religious beliefs, sexuality is often seen as sinful and immoral unless exercised within heterosexual marriage.
In Islam, sexual pleasure is seen as forbidden outside of marriage and homosexuality is punishable by death. Similarly, in Christianity, sex between unmarried couples is considered a mortal sin, while same-sex relationships are prohibited entirely. This conflation of morality and sexuality has led many people to view sexual patience as a marker of moral superiority, where those who can resist their sexual urges are deemed more virtuous than those who engage in 'sinful' behaviors.
This idea has had serious consequences for marginalized groups, particularly LGBTQ+ individuals, who have been ostracized, stigmatized, and even physically harmed because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. It has also contributed to the oppression of women, who are expected to maintain chastity until marriage and endure unwanted sexual advances without protest. The result is a culture of fear and shame around sex, where people are taught to view their own bodies and desires as something to be controlled and suppressed.
This trend has led to widespread denial of one's natural sexual impulses, leading to negative health outcomes such as anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Some researchers argue that this attitude towards sex can lead to increased rates of sexual violence and abuse, since it creates an environment where sexual desire is repressed and denied rather than acknowledged and addressed.
There are some religious teachings that promote a more nuanced understanding of sexuality, emphasizing consent, pleasure, and intimacy.
Buddhism teaches that sexual pleasure should not be indulged excessively but can be enjoyed within a loving relationship. Hinduism encourages yoga practices that integrate sexual energy into spiritual growth. In Judaism, sex is seen as an act of love and commitment between two partners, rather than a sinful act. These beliefs promote sexual wellbeing and encourage individuals to explore their sexuality in a safe, consensual way.
While sexual patience may be viewed by some as a marker of moral superiority, its implementation has had serious consequences for marginalized groups and created an environment of fear and shame around sexual expression. It is essential to reframe the conversation around sexuality and recognize that everyone has the right to express themselves freely, safely, and without judgment.
How do religious teachings convert sexual patience into a marker of moral superiority?
Religious teachings often emphasize the importance of maintaining chastity until marriage as a means to preserve one's purity and honor their partner. This can be seen as a form of moral superiority because it requires individuals to resist temptation and demonstrate self-control, which are virtues that are highly valued by many religions.