Sexual behavior is an essential part of human nature that can be both physical and mental. It involves biological processes like hormones and neurotransmitters and psychological factors such as feelings, thoughts, emotions, and perceptions. In this article, I will explore how unprocessed shame about self-touch or fantasy can lead to dissociation during adult sexuality.
Shame is an intense feeling of humiliation, embarrassment, or mortification caused by perceived deficiencies in oneself. Unprocessed shame refers to negative emotions that are not fully acknowledged, explored, and understood but remain hidden inside the person's psyche. When it comes to sexual behavior, unprocessed shame may stem from societal stigmas surrounding sex or personal experiences of trauma or abuse. Such shame may make a person feel guilty, ashamed, dirty, or defective, which can negatively impact their overall well-being, including sexual intimacy and relationships.
Dissociation is a psychological state characterized by detachment, withdrawal, or distancing from reality. During sexual arousal, it occurs when a person becomes so absorbed in fantasies or sensations that they lose track of time, place, or people around them. Dissociation can also occur during intercourse if the experience does not meet expectations, causing a sense of disconnection between partners.
The connection between unprocessed shame and dissociation in sexuality has been studied extensively in research studies.
One study found that women who had experienced childhood sexual abuse were more likely to report dissociative symptoms during sexual encounters than those without such history. Another study showed that individuals with higher levels of shame had lower sexual desire, arousal, and satisfaction than those with lower levels of shame.
Shame about self-touch and fantasy may lead to dissociation because both involve private and intense feelings that a person may find difficult to express openly. A person may suppress these desires due to fear of judgment, rejection, or self-loathing, leading to an internal conflict between their inner thoughts and outer actions. This conflict creates tension, anxiety, and emotional dysregulation, making the person prone to dissociation during sex.
To prevent this, individuals should acknowledge their shame, explore its roots and triggers, and work on healing processes. They can seek professional help, engage in therapy, or join support groups for individuals with similar experiences. Practicing self-care, meditation, mindfulness, and relaxation techniques can also alleviate stress, anxiety, and other negative emotions associated with shame.
Unprocessed shame about self-touch or fantasy can create barriers to healthy sexual intimacy by inducing dissociation.
Individuals can overcome this challenge through personal development, self-compassion, and positive communication with partners.
Can unprocessed shame about self-touch or fantasy create dissociation in adult sexuality?
Unprocessed shame may influence an individual's perception of their body image and can lead to feelings of anxiety and low self-esteem, which can impact their ability to engage in healthy sexual behavior and intimacy with others. Self-touch and fantasies are often used as coping mechanisms for individuals who struggle with this type of shame, but they can also contribute to further isolation and disconnection from oneself and others.