When people experience traumatic events, they may have difficulties with their emotional regulation. This can lead them to either cling onto others or pull away from them. In this article, I will discuss how partners can manage these oscillations using various strategies.
Communication is key. Partners must communicate openly and honestly about their feelings, fears, and needs. They need to listen actively and validate each other's experiences without judgment or blame. This requires patience, compassion, and empathy. It also involves setting boundaries when necessary to protect themselves and their partner.
Partners should engage in activities that promote intimacy. These include spending quality time together, practicing touch therapy, and exploring new hobbies or interests. They should avoid isolating themselves or withdrawing completely from each other. Finding common ground and building trust can help alleviate anxiety and enhance closeness.
Partners should work towards self-regulation skills. Trauma survivors often struggle with managing their emotions, so they should try meditation, mindfulness exercises, or talk therapy. By learning to regulate their emotions, they can better control their behavior and reactions towards their partner. Self-care practices like exercise, healthy eating, and restful sleep are also crucial for overall wellbeing.
Partners should prioritize physical intimacy as much as possible. Regular sex and affection can promote bonding and reduce tension between them.
If one partner does not want to be touched, it is essential to respect their boundaries. Intimate acts should not feel forced but rather natural and enjoyable for both parties involved.
Maintaining intimacy amid trauma oscillations takes effort and commitment. Partners must communicate openly, practice intimacy, and take care of themselves while being patient with each other's needs. With time and support, they can overcome these challenges and build a stronger relationship.
What strategies allow partners to maintain intimacy when trauma leads to oscillations between dependence and withdrawal?
Practicing open communication is one of the key ways for partners to maintain intimacy despite the oscillations between dependence and withdrawal brought on by trauma. Partners should avoid making assumptions about each other's needs, feelings, and desires, and be willing to listen actively and respond nonjudgmentally to create an environment where both feel heard and understood. It also helps to set boundaries and establish a routine that allows them to reconnect regularly and establish trust through shared experiences.