The manipulator is someone who tries to control another person's behavior for their own benefit. They may do this through a variety of tactics, such as guilt trips, gaslighting, or even physical or verbal abuse.
What many people don't realize is that this kind of manipulation often creates an unintended cycle of dependency on control. In fact, the very act of trying to control someone else can create a fear of emotional dependence that leads to more control being needed. This can be confusing and difficult to understand, but it makes sense when you look at how psychology works.
When someone tries to control another person, they are essentially trying to exert power over them. This can make the controlled person feel like they are not in control of their own life or destiny. They may become dependent on the manipulator for guidance or approval.
This also means that the controlled person becomes less independent and self-sufficient.
This can lead to feelings of resentment and frustration towards the manipulator, which can cause the relationship to break down.
But what happens if the person being controlled decides to leave? The manipulator may try to hold onto them by any means necessary. They may start to use guilt trips or other tactics to keep the victim feeling trapped. This can create an even stronger sense of emotional dependence, as the victim feels like they need the manipulator in order to have any semblance of control over their own life. The manipulator may even start to rely on the victim financially, emotionally, or otherwise.
So while the manipulator may believe they are controlling the situation, they actually create a cycle of dependence. The more they try to control someone else, the more dependent they become on that control themselves. It's a paradoxical situation that is hard to break out of without professional help. If you find yourself in this kind of relationship, it's important to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist who can help you break free from the grip of the manipulator.
How does the manipulator's fear of emotional dependence paradoxically create dependency on control itself?
When someone has an unhealthy fear of being emotionally dependent on others, they may attempt to gain control over their relationships by controlling the other person's actions or behaviors. This can become a self-perpetuating cycle where the manipulator becomes more and more reliant on control to avoid feeling vulnerable or powerless.