How does a person's upbringing influence their expectations for marriage and intimacy?
Marriage is often seen as a sacred union between two people who have made a commitment to each other for life. While it may seem like an idealistic viewpoint, there are many factors that go into making a successful marriage. One of these factors includes how well the couple communicates their desires, needs, and expectations. It has been found that pre-marital scripts about purity or permissiveness can impact marital negotiations of desire. This means that what couples believe before getting married can shape how they approach their relationship afterward.
If a woman believes she should be pure until marriage, then she may feel guilty when she expresses her sexual desires to her partner. On the other hand, if a man believes he is free to explore his sexuality outside of marriage, he may feel ashamed if he feels obligated to stay within certain boundaries once married. In this paper, we will discuss why pre-marital scripts matter for marital negotiations of desire.
The Importance of Pre-marital Scripts
Pre-marital scripts refer to the ideas and beliefs that individuals hold regarding sex and relationships prior to entering a committed relationship. These scripts can come from various sources such as parents, friends, media, religion, culture, and personal experiences. Research shows that pre-marital scripts play a significant role in shaping marital outcomes (Mulford & Kohn, 2014). When it comes to intimacy and desire in marriage, pre-marital scripts can either create barriers or open doors for communication.
A woman who was raised with conservative religious values may have been taught to wait until marriage to have sex. She may also feel shame or guilt if she expresses her sexual desires to her partner. If she does not communicate them properly, this could lead to resentment or anger on both sides. On the other hand, a man who grew up in a more liberal environment may not understand why his wife is so hesitant about exploring their sexuality together. He may become frustrated and push harder, leading to further tension between them. Understanding each other's pre-marital scripts is crucial before entering into any long-term commitments.
When it comes to gender roles, there are some differences in how men and women approach purity versus permissiveness. Women tend to value purity more than men do because they believe it shows respect for themselves and others (Rubin et al., 2013). Men tend to place less importance on purity but instead focus on freedom and autonomy (Fisher, 2015). This means that when a woman feels guilty about expressing her sexual needs, it creates conflict within the relationship since he does not share her same beliefs regarding purity.
Marital Negotiations of Desire
Once married, couples must negotiate their individual desires within the context of their shared relationship goals. This includes talking openly about what they want from one another physically and emotionally. It can be difficult for some couples to negotiate these things due to their different pre-marital scripts.
If a man believes he has the right to explore outside relationships while his wife expects monogamy, this could create problems later down the road. They will need to find common ground if they wish to maintain a healthy marriage.
Negotiating desire also involves compromise from both partners involved. No one person should feel like they have all the control over what happens during intimate moments between them. Instead, each partner should work together towards finding mutual satisfaction that meets everyone's needs (Mulford & Kohn, 2014). It is important for couples to remember that they are equal partners in this negotiation process and neither should try to dominate or control the other.
Pre-marital scripts can impact marital negotiations of desire by creating barriers or opening doors for communication. Women who value purity may feel guilty expressing their desires while men who value permissiveness may not understand why she holds onto those values after getting married. Couples should discuss their expectations before entering into any long-term commitments so there are no surprises later on. Negotiating intimacy requires compromise from both partners involved and understanding of each other's unique perspectives on sex and relationships. By being open and honest with one another, couples can build a strong foundation for their marriage that allows for mutual respect and fulfillment of desires.
How do pre-marital scripts about purity or permissiveness impact marital negotiations of desire?
Pre-marital scripts about purity or permissiveness can have an influence on marital negotiations of desire because they shape individuals' expectations for their future partnerships and intimate relationships. The preconceived notions that people hold about sex and sexuality may affect how they approach discussing and addressing their desires with their spouse or partner.