Sexual desire is the attraction that makes people feel physically excited about each other and want to be together sexually. It's also called "libido" or "sex drive." Sexual desire can change from day to day and even from hour to hour based on many factors like age, health, stress, hormones, sleep, medications, and relationship problems. Married couples may find their sexual desires for each other waning after some time together. This phenomenon isn't uncommon, but it can be worrisome if one person has no interest in sex while the other wants more of it.
Why does sexual desire decrease?
There are many reasons why a couple might experience a decline in sexual desire within marriage. Some common causes include:
- **Physical** - Age, illness, injury, medication side effects, low testosterone levels, depression, anxiety, alcoholism, smoking, drug abuse.
- **Psychological** - Fear of intimacy, stress, communication problems, infidelity, trauma, resentment, fear of rejection, boredom.
- **Social** - Social stigma around sex, financial problems, work demands, children, family issues, cultural norms, religion, religious beliefs.
How do different religions interpret declining sexual desire within marriage?
Religion plays an important role in how married couples approach sex and intimacy. Each major religion has its own set of guidelines and principles regarding sexual behavior. These guidelines can range from promoting frequent sexual activity as part of marital obligations to discouraging any form of physical pleasure. The interpretation of these guidelines depends on the individual's beliefs, personal experiences, and cultural context.
In Islam, for example, sexual intercourse is seen as a sacred act between husband and wife that strengthens their bond and helps them stay connected physically and spiritually. Muslim scholars recommend that spouses have sex regularly to avoid the temptation of adultery and maintain a healthy relationship.
Some Muslim communities emphasize modesty and chastity, which could lead to a decrease in sexual desire.
Christianity also views sex as a holy union between partners but with more focus on procreation than pleasure. Some Christian denominations believe that sexual desires should be suppressed or denied altogether. This belief may contribute to lower levels of libido among believers.
Judaism teaches that sexual intimacy is essential for a healthy marriage but must follow strict rules, such as only happening during specific times of the month and in certain positions. Jewish laws prohibit premarital sex and extra-marital affairs, leading to less exploration of sexual possibilities within marriage.
Buddhism sees sex as an expression of love and spiritual growth, but it also cautions against excessive attachment and indulgence. Buddhist couples are encouraged to control their emotions and thoughts about sex, which can result in reduced interest over time.
What can married couples do to rekindle their sexual desire?
There are several ways that married couples can increase their sexual desire and improve their relationship:
- **Communicate** - Talk openly and honestly about your needs, fears, and expectations. Ask each other questions to better understand what turns you both on and off. Share fantasies and explore new ideas together.
- **Date night** - Plan regular dates just for the two of you without distractions like children or phones. Go out to dinner, see a movie, go dancing, or take a trip together.
- **Introduce novelty** - Try new positions, activities, or locations to keep things exciting. Experiment with sensory stimulation (food, music, touch).
- **Be creative** - Write erotic stories or poems together, watch pornography, roleplay, use sex toys, etc. Get creative and playful.
Declining sexual desire within marriage is a common issue that many couples face. Religious beliefs may influence how individuals approach intimacy, but there are still ways to rekindle the flame through communication, date nights, novelty, and creativity.
How does religion interpret declining sexual desire within marriage?
Religion often views declining sexual desire within marriage as a natural part of aging or an issue that can be resolved through communication and effort from both partners. It is believed that couples who have been together for some time may become less interested in physical intimacy due to factors such as stress, hormonal changes, health issues, or relationship difficulties.