Sexual desire is an internal experience that can manifest itself in various ways. It is a feeling that drives individuals to seek out intimate physical contact with another person. People have different reasons for wanting to be intimate, which could stem from their innate needs, desires, or personal preferences. Some may feel pressured to act or behave in certain ways because of societal norms, expectations, gender roles, or social pressure. This can lead to confusion about what is authentic versus artificial desire.
What does it mean to distinguish between authentic sexual desire and socially expected sexual desire?
Authentic sexual desire refers to a genuine desire that comes from within oneself. When people are truly attracted to someone else, they tend to find themselves seeking them out more often and having frequent thoughts of them. They are also likely to fantasize about them and think of intimacy-related ideas. Socially expected sexual desire involves acting upon what others expect from you, either verbally or nonverbally.
If you are in a relationship where one partner expects regular sex even though you do not feel like it, this would be considered socially expected sexual desire. In contrast, if you crave your partner's company due to genuine attraction, then this would be authentic sexual desire.
How can people identify authentic sexual desire?
Authentic sexual desire is typically expressed through strong emotions and physical arousal when around the desired individual. An individual feels drawn towards another person without any external influence. You might want to explore yourself and the other person before getting physically involved. Take time to discover each other's likes, dislikes, strengths, weaknesses, interests, and values.
What can cause a mismatch between authentic sexual desire and socially expected sexual desire?
One common reason for a mismatch is fear of rejection or embarrassment. If an individual believes their desires may cause negative consequences such as being judged by family members or society, then they may hide them.
Some people may feel guilt over their desire because they have been conditioned to believe certain things are right or wrong based on religion or cultural background. Another factor could be a lack of communication with partners regarding their true needs and wants in a relationship. This leads to assumptions that can create tension within the relationship.
Some individuals may experience trauma which affects how they view intimacy and relationships moving forward.
How do people distinguish between authentic sexual desire and desire that is socially or relationally expected of them?
People are able to distinguish between authentic sexual desire and socially or relationally expected desire by considering factors such as their individual preferences, past experiences, emotions, physical responses, and cultural norms. While social expectations may pressure individuals to engage in certain types of sexual behaviors or relationships, it is important for individuals to recognize when those desires align with their own personal preferences and boundaries.