Relational Continuity Among Military Partners
Partners who are left behind while their significant others serve in active duty face unique challenges that can strain their relationship. This is especially true for those whose partners experience trauma during deployment. One such challenge involves maintaining relational continuity. When soldiers return from deployment, they often struggle to reintegrate into civilian life due to changes in behavior, values, and priorities. These shifts can be difficult for both the soldier and their partner to navigate, leading to misunderstandings and conflict.
There are several strategies that couples can use to maintain relational continuity despite these changes.
It's important to recognize that returning veterans may have changed their personality and values in response to their experiences abroad. They may feel disconnected from their previous life and struggled to relate to loved ones who don't understand what they went through. The transition back home can be jarring and uncomfortable, as many veterans feel like outsiders in their own communities. Partners should try to create a safe space where their veteran feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings without judgment. This means being supportive and patient, even when their partner behaves differently than before.
Partners should work together to establish new routines and rituals that reflect the needs of the veteran.
If the veteran has trouble sleeping or suffers from nightmares, creating a calming bedtime routine can help them wind down at the end of the day. If the veteran feels isolated or overwhelmed by daily tasks, taking on some responsibilities as a team can ease the burden.
Attending events or activities that bring joy and meaning to both parties can strengthen the relationship and provide much-needed social connection.
Partners must be willing to adapt their expectations and priorities based on the veteran's changing circumstances. This may mean adjusting schedules, making compromises, and accepting different ways of doing things. It also requires communication and transparency about each other's needs and desires. By working together toward mutual understanding and respect, couples can maintain relational continuity despite changes in behavior and priorities.
It is essential for military families to seek professional help if necessary. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a common condition among returning veterans, which can cause anxiety, depression, and flashbacks. Seeking therapy or counseling can provide valuable tools and strategies for managing these symptoms while preserving relationships. Couples can also attend support groups specifically designed for military families to meet others who understand what they are going through.
Maintaining relational continuity is a challenge for many military couples, but with patience, understanding, and open communication, it is possible to navigate this transition successfully. Partners should focus on establishing new routines, being flexible, communicating clearly, and seeking professional help when needed. With these strategies, military partnerships can thrive even after deployment.
How do partners maintain relational continuity when soldiers' behaviors, values, and priorities have shifted dramatically post-deployment?
The military deployment of a soldier often poses challenges for their partner. The change in lifestyle and relationships requires both parties to adjust, but it may be particularly difficult if they were previously unaware of the impact of war on the individual's mental health and wellbeing. Partners who are accustomed to the "old" version of their significant other can find themselves struggling with the new reality, especially if they feel like they cannot understand what has happened during the deployment period.