Relational satisfaction is an essential aspect of any relationship, whether it is between partners in a heterosexual or queer context. In this piece, we will explore what relational satisfaction entails for queer individuals who do not place importance on traditional concepts like closure, permanence, and finality. We will delve into the unique dynamics that exist within queer relationships and how they shape the way individuals approach these concepts.
Closure
Closure refers to the idea that when a relationship ends, there should be some sort of resolution or conclusion that allows both parties to move forward. This often involves talking about why the relationship ended and making sure that each person feels understood and heard. For many people in queer relationships, however, closure can feel unnecessary or even harmful. Queer individuals may have experienced rejection or trauma related to their sexuality or gender identity, which makes them less likely to seek out closure from former partners. They may also view ending a relationship as simply a natural part of life and not something that requires extra processing.
The concept of closure itself can be problematic because it assumes that all relationships are linear and predictable. Some queer individuals may not subscribe to this idea and see their relationships as more fluid and open-ended. They may prefer to keep their options open or remain friends with exes rather than seeking closure.
Permanence
Permanence is the belief that a relationship will last forever or at least for a significant amount of time. For some queer individuals, this concept can feel restrictive and stifling. Queer individuals may prioritize freedom and flexibility in their relationships and be unwilling to commit to something long-term unless they feel deeply connected to their partner. They may also reject the idea that a relationship needs to be permanent to be meaningful.
The expectation of permanence can put undue pressure on a relationship and lead to feelings of guilt or shame if things do not work out. Some queer individuals may choose to end a relationship before it becomes too serious to avoid these negative emotions.
The lack of permanence in a relationship can allow both parties to explore other options and keep their individuality intact.
Finality
Finality refers to the idea that once a relationship ends, it is over and there is no going back. This can be particularly challenging for queer individuals who have experienced rejection or trauma related to their sexuality or gender identity. They may struggle to move on from past relationships or feel like they need closure to fully heal from them.
Many queer individuals view finality as an illusion because relationships are always evolving and changing.
Queer individuals may also question why society places so much importance on finality when relationships often involve multiple people and experiences. Endings can be messy and complicated, but they should not dictate how we define our relationships or ourselves.
Relational satisfaction in queer contexts requires a reevaluation of traditional concepts like closure, permanence, and finality. Instead of seeking closure or permanence, queer individuals may focus on building strong connections based on mutual respect, trust, and communication. By doing so, they can create fulfilling and authentic relationships that challenge societal norms and expectations.
What does relational satisfaction entail in queer contexts where closure, permanence, and finality are neither expected nor valued?
Relational satisfaction in queer contexts can involve different dynamics than those found in heteronormative relationships. Unlike monogamy or polyamory, which tend to prioritize long-term commitment and exclusivity, many queer individuals may view romantic relationships as more flexible, casual, and temporary in nature.