In war, the absence of external control can lead soldiers to seek control through intimate relationships. The lack of predictability and stability in wartime creates an environment where people have less autonomy, which may drive them to find ways to regain it elsewhere. This includes controlling their intimate relationships. Sexuality is often seen as a way for soldiers to gain power and dominance when they feel powerless in other areas.
This approach can be counterproductive and lead to negative consequences such as guilt, shame, and strained interpersonal relationships. Intimacy requires vulnerability and trust, but this becomes more difficult when soldiers are trained to prioritize aggression and violence. Therefore, finding balance between control and surrender during conflict is essential for mental health and wellbeing.
How does the absence of control affect soldiers' behavior?
Soldiers experience intense stress, trauma, and uncertainty in battle. They face death threats, fear, and the potential loss of loved ones daily. This makes them hypervigilant and heightens their senses. To cope, they may withdraw from others or act out aggressively. Some may turn to substances or risky behaviors like reckless driving. Others may become more sexually active or promiscuous, seeking pleasure and relief. These actions are not inherently bad; they help some soldiers process their emotions. Still, they can lead to feelings of guilt and shame that further isolate them.
Why do soldiers seek control in intimate situations?
Intimacy involves vulnerability and trust, qualities that are challenging to cultivate amidst war. The mindset needed for battle is one of self-preservation and strength, whereas intimacy requires openness and empathy. In wartime, soldiers develop coping mechanisms that serve them in combat, but these can hurt their personal lives.
A soldier who relies on control may find it challenging to express affection or listen to their partner's needs. Control is seen as power, so soldiers may push partners away if they feel threatened. This can damage relationships and increase loneliness and isolation.
What are the negative consequences of controlling intimacy?
Controlling intimacy can create imbalance and resentment between partners. It can also interfere with communication and lead to misunderstandings. When soldiers try to dominate their partners, it can cause anxiety, frustration, and even physical harm.
It may make it harder for them to trust their loved ones and build stable relationships outside of war. Soldiers must learn to balance control and surrender to be healthy individuals and have fulfilling relationships.
How does the absence of control in war environments influence soldiers' need to exert control over intimate situations?
The lack of control in war environments can lead soldiers to seek out ways to assert control over intimate situations as a means of coping with the stress and uncertainty of combat. When faced with high levels of risk and danger, many individuals may experience feelings of anxiety and helplessness, which can be mitigated by seeking a sense of agency and power in their relationships.