Trauma can cause a veteran to have unpredictable changes in their behavior toward their partner, which can lead to relational consequences that are difficult to navigate. One way this may manifest is through idealization or devaluation of the partner. Idealization occurs when the veteran places their partner on a pedestal, believing them to be perfect and irreplaceable, while devaluation involves seeing the partner as inferior and worthless. These shifts in perception can create tension and distance in the relationship, making it challenging for both partners to connect and communicate effectively.
If a veteran has been through combat trauma and struggles with flashbacks or nightmares related to their experience, they may idealize their partner as someone who can provide comfort and security.
This intense emotional need can place pressure on the partner to always be there for the veteran, leading to resentment and feelings of being taken for granted. On the other hand, if the veteran becomes emotionally distant due to their trauma, they may view their partner as a source of frustration or disappointment, leading to further disconnection.
Both idealization and devaluation can create power imbalances in the relationship, where one partner feels more valued than the other. This can make it hard for both partners to express themselves openly and honestly, as they fear judgment or rejection.
These shifts in perception can erode trust between partners, as the veteran struggles to maintain consistency in how they feel about their partner. As a result, the relationship may become unstable, with frequent arguments or breakups that are difficult to overcome.
To address these relational consequences, couples therapy can be beneficial. A trained therapist can help the couple understand the dynamics at play and develop strategies for managing them together. They can also offer support and guidance during times when the veteran's behavior is unpredictable or intense. It may also be helpful for the veteran to seek individual therapy to process their trauma and learn healthy coping mechanisms.
Trauma-related idealization or devaluation of the partner can have significant impacts on the relationship, creating tension, distance, and instability. With appropriate support and intervention, however, it is possible for couples to navigate these challenges and build a stronger connection based on mutual understanding and respect.
What relational consequences arise when trauma causes the veteran to idealize or devalue the partner unpredictably?
Trauma can lead to the development of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which may manifest itself as intense fear, anxiety, depression, flashbacks, nightmares, and avoidance behavior. When this occurs, it is not unusual for partners to experience significant distress and negative effects on their relationship with their loved ones.