Emotional distancing is an essential component of all types of interpersonal interactions. It occurs when one person feels a disconnect from another person's feelings or thoughts, resulting in less intimate communication between them. In service member-civilian relationships, this often happens due to differences in culture, life experiences, geographic separation, military duties, deployment schedules, etc. There are three ways that emotional distance can be interpreted by service members:
1. Protective Distance: This type of distancing is done for self-protection against potential harm or pain. When service members feel vulnerable or exposed during an interaction, they may withdraw into themselves to maintain control and avoid being hurt.
If their partner criticizes them harshly or behaves aggressively, they might pull away emotionally as a defense mechanism.
2. Temporary Distance: Service members may also interpret emotional distance as temporary, meaning it will eventually resolve itself without effort. They believe that their relationship is strong enough to overcome any obstacle, so they don't take action to fix the problem. Instead, they wait for their partner to initiate reconciliation and forgiveness.
3. Relational Strain:
Emotional distance can indicate relational strain, where there is no clear path forward for repairing the relationship. The gap has grown too wide, and both parties have lost trust and respect for each other. This type of distancing often leads to breakups or divorces, as neither party wants to invest in a broken connection anymore.
Service members must learn how to recognize which type of emotional distance they face in their relationships. If it's protective, they should seek support from friends or family members who understand their situation. If it's temporary, they should communicate openly with their partners about what they need to rebuild intimacy. If it's indicative of relational strain, they may need to end the relationship before things get worse.
Understanding different types of emotional distance allows service members to navigate interpersonal interactions more effectively. With self-awareness and communication skills, they can create healthy connections that last throughout their careers and beyond.
How do service members interpret emotional distance as either protective, temporary, or indicative of relational strain?
In their relationships with loved ones, military personnel frequently experience emotional distance due to deployment or other responsibilities that keep them away from home for extended periods. Service members may perceive this distance as a necessary precautionary measure to shield themselves emotionally, believing that it will help prevent attachment in case they are forced to leave again.