Sexual Desires
We all have sexual desires that can range from one individual to another. Our sexual desires are shaped by many factors such as culture, religion, environment, upbringing, experiences, etc. For some individuals, these desires could be very strong, while for others, they may just be mild.
Despite how strong or weak they are, there is always a gap between what society expects and what an individual's sexual desires want. This contradiction has led to people struggling to reconcile their private erotic desire with social morality. How do people deal with this struggle?
Expectations of Society
Society expects certain things from individuals concerning their behavior.
It expects individuals to respect each other, uphold moral standards, avoid immoral activities like stealing, lying, killing, and adultery. It also expects people to maintain good relationships and live peacefully without harming themselves or anyone else.
Society expects people to dress appropriately, especially when in public places.
It expects them to have healthy living habits and abide by laws. These expectations make the life of most people easier since they give direction to how one should behave in society. People who comply with these rules are viewed favorably while those who don't are labeled negatively.
Sexual Desire
Our sexual desires are not influenced by societal norms. They only exist within us. Someone might love someone so much that they would have sexual fantasies about them. In some cases, these sexual fantasies may involve illegal acts like engaging in sex at workplaces, which can lead to punishment if caught. While others may develop feelings for children, animals, relatives, etc., and even though such relationships are against cultural practices, they cannot help but act on their sexual urges. Therefore, we tend to feel conflicted because of the difference between what society expects and what our body wants. How do we deal with this contradiction?
Reconciling Sexual Desire and Social Morality
Some people try to reconcile their private erotic desire with social morality through various means. Here is a list of some of these methods:
1. Denial - This method involves denying any feeling you may have towards a particular person or group.
Someone may avoid being alone with a colleague whom they find attractive. Another example could be someone who ignores his/her spouse's advances despite being married.
2. Suppression - This approach entails suppressing one's feelings until it fades away naturally.
An individual may choose to ignore their feelings when around certain individuals and focus on something else.
This method has negative effects since it causes stress, anxiety, depression, etc.
3. Repression - Repressing your sexual desire involves pushing it down into your subconscious mind. An example of repression could be an individual trying not to think about a person they have strong sexual desires towards. This way, they can go about their day-to-day life without dealing with any unwanted thoughts.
There are consequences too, including psychological issues like anxiety and low self-esteem.
4. Expression - Some people prefer expressing their sexual desires instead of suppressing them.
Someone might engage in safe sex if they cannot control their desires for someone who is already taken. Others will act on their fantasies by finding a partner whose age is acceptable according to the law. In addition, they may seek therapy from professional counselors or confide in friends/family members.
5. Acceptance - There are those who accept that they have these urges and deal with them accordingly. They make sure that they do not hurt anyone physically or emotionally while fulfilling their desires.
6. Ignoring - Lastly, some people just decide to ignore their private erotic desire and continue living their lives as usual.
Society expects us to behave in a particular manner, which may conflict with our sexual desires. How we reconcile this contradiction depends on many factors, including culture, religion, upbringing, environment, and personal choice. Each method has its pros and cons; therefore, one should choose what works best for them.
Being aware of your feelings and managing them positively is essential since suppressing them would only cause more harm than good.
How do people reconcile the contradiction between social morality and private erotic desire?
One of the most common reasons for this contradiction is that society often has very strict rules about what is appropriate when it comes to sexual behavior. These standards are based on religious beliefs, cultural norms, and historical traditions that were formed centuries ago. In contrast, individual desires are unique and cannot be fully understood by anyone else except the person themselves.