Sexual Fantasies and Relationships
Human beings are intrinsically sexual creatures who have different desires for their partners and themselves. Sexual desires can be expressed through sexual fantasies that involve various scenarios and situations. These fantasies often arise from our thoughts and experiences in life. They may also come from stories heard or read, movies watched, and dreams. While some people choose to act out these fantasies, others remain content with just imagining them.
These fantasies play an important role in shaping our feelings towards our partner. They can either build trust, enhance love, or ruin relationships.
Fantasizing about your partner
When you imagine having sex with your partner, it's natural to feel excited and aroused. This is because you associate your partner with pleasure and comfort. Your brain releases dopamine, which triggers happy and pleasurable feelings. In fact, research shows that fantasizing about your partner increases feelings of attachment and love. It also makes you perceive him/her as more attractive than before. Moreover, engaging in mutual fantasies with your partner strengthens your bond and promotes intimacy. Thus, it improves the quality of your relationship by making you feel loved and satisfied.
Jealousy and cheating
While thinking about your partner may make you feel safe and secure, there is a flipside to this. You may start feeling jealous if he/she has erotic thoughts about another person. The fear of losing your partner to someone else can trigger feelings of jealousy, insecurity, and even anger. This is especially true when the fantasy involves a celebrity or co-worker who seems more desirable than you are. Some partners might indulge in these fantasies without considering how their actions affect you. If not addressed appropriately, such behavior can lead to infidelity and deterioration of the relationship.
Trust and loyalty
Some people fantasize about others outside their relationship. These can be celebrities, exes, friends, or complete strangers. While most people don't act on these fantasies, they can still negatively impact the trust and loyalty between partners. Research suggests that thinking about another person during sex reduces feelings of affection and satisfaction towards your partner. This decreases the sense of exclusivity and belongingness, which is essential for a healthy relationship.
Sexual fantasies play a critical role in shaping our relationships. Thinking about your partner increases attachment, while fantasizing about others lowers it.
Both scenarios have negative effects on trust and loyalty. To avoid hurt feelings, couples should share their fantasies openly and discuss them rationally. They should also ensure that these fantasies do not interfere with their love life. With mutual understanding and communication, couples can create a stable and satisfying bond.
In what ways do sexual fantasies about a partner versus others shape feelings of jealousy, trust, and relational satisfaction?
Research has indicated that individuals may experience different levels of jealousy and satisfaction in their relationships based on whether they have sexual fantasies about their partners versus others. In some cases, having sexual fantasies about one's partner can enhance intimacy and closeness, leading to increased satisfaction in the relationship (Cantor & Driskell, 2015).