Some individuals are demisexual, meaning they only experience sexual attraction after establishing emotional bonds. This is distinct from asexuality, which refers to an absence of sexual attraction entirely. Demisexuals may have romantic feelings for others without experiencing sexual desires until they form strong, close bonds. They can be heterosexual, homosexual, pansexual, etc., but cannot experience sexual desire unless their partner meets certain criteria, such as trustworthiness, respectfulness, and compatibility.
Demisexuality is uncommon, affecting about 1% of people globally. It has no link to gender identity or expression, though nonbinary individuals may identify as demisexual or another orientation. Some experts believe it's due to differences in brain structure or function, while others posit that demisexuals simply take longer to develop romantic and sexual attraction than others. Researchers are still investigating the causes and implications of demisexuality.
Despite being a valid sexual orientation, many cisgender and transgender individuals face social challenges due to their demisexuality. They may feel rejected by potential partners who assume all sexual activity takes place before emotional attachment. They might struggle with finding relationships because of this assumption. They may also find it difficult to express themselves openly due to societal stigma surrounding demisexuality.
However, some argue that demisexuals benefit from taking time to build intimacy and strengthen bonds, reducing the likelihood of infidelity, misunderstandings, and breakups. Others suggest demisexuals focus on physical pleasures beyond sex, such as massages, hugs, and kisses. Some embrace their demisexuality as part of their identity, rejecting the idea that everyone must follow traditional norms for dating and sex.
In conclusion, demisexuality can be a unique and complex aspect of sexuality requiring understanding and acceptance. Its prevalence remains unknown but is likely higher than reported due to cultural pressures against admitting non-normative experiences. Individuals should prioritize self-acceptance over society's expectations and seek support if necessary.