Studies have explored the relationship between extradyadic sexual fantasies and several aspects of romantic relationships, including relational satisfaction, sexual desire, and emotional closeness. Extradyadic sexual fantasies are defined as imagined experiences involving individuals who are not partners in a couple's primary relationship. These can range from daydreaming about past sexual encounters to actively pursuing sexual activity outside of the current relationship. Despite their prevalence, there is limited research on how they relate to various aspects of couplehood. This article will explore what studies have found so far.
Relationship satisfaction refers to the level of overall happiness, compatibility, and connection within a relationship. Research has shown that having extradyadic sexual fantasies does not necessarily mean lower levels of relationship satisfaction. In fact, some studies have found that couples who engage in such fantasies tend to report higher levels of satisfaction than those who do not.
Other research suggests that openness to non-monogamy may be linked to greater levels of relationship dissatisfaction.
One study found that women who reported being more open to non-monogamy were less satisfied with their relationships. It remains unclear why this might be the case, but it may be related to differences in attachment style or communication styles.
Sexual desire is the motivation to seek out sexual activity with a partner or potential partner. Studies have found mixed evidence on whether extradyadic sexual fantasies are associated with sexual desire. Some research suggests that having such fantasies may increase sexual desire by providing novelty and excitement. Others have found no link between the two. One possibility is that having a healthy sexual appetite may contribute to both experiencing sexual fantasies and desiring sexual contact with others. Another possibility is that individuals who experience sexual dissatisfaction in their primary relationship may turn to extradyadic fantasies as an attempt to satisfy their needs elsewhere.
Emotional closeness involves feelings of intimacy, trust, and mutual support in a relationship. Extradyadic sexual fantasies have been linked to lower levels of emotional closeness, particularly for men. Women tend to report greater emotional closeness when they engage in these fantasies, while men tend to report lower emotional closeness. This could be due to cultural expectations around masculinity and emotional expression, or to differences in how men and women perceive emotional connection within relationships. It could also reflect differences in the types of extradyadic activities engaged in (e.g., women may fantasize about romantic encounters, while men may focus on casual sex).
There is limited but growing research on the impact of extradyadic sexual fantasies on various aspects of couplehood. The findings suggest that they do not necessarily lead to lower satisfaction or less frequent sexual activity, although some studies have shown associations with lower levels of emotional closeness. More research is needed to understand the complex interplay between extradyadic fantasies and relationship dynamics.
How do extradyadic sexual fantasies relate to relational satisfaction, sexual desire, and emotional closeness?
Extradyadic sexual fantasies refer to thoughts about engaging in sex with someone other than one's partner or spouse. While some people may view these fantasies as harmless or even pleasurable, research has found that they can negatively impact relationship satisfaction, sexual desire, and emotional closeness.