How to Maintain Emotional Closeness When Hypervigilance Disrupts Veterans' Relational Rhythms
Emotional closeness is essential for healthy relationships.
Trauma from military service can cause hypervigilance that interferes with communication and trust between partners. This article provides strategies to stay connected while managing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms.
Hypervigilance refers to an increased state of alertness where individuals are always on high alert, scanning their surroundings for danger. It occurs when someone feels threatened or unsafe, activating the fight-or-flight response in the body. In veterans suffering from PTSD, hypervigilance may be triggered by reminders of combat experiences or other triggers associated with traumatic events.
Hypervigilance can interfere with relational rhythms because it causes people to become preoccupied with their partner's behaviors and emotions rather than listening actively and responding empathically. Partners might feel unseen, neglected, misunderstood, or distrusted. They may withdraw or become defensive. To maintain emotional closeness despite hypervigilance, couples need to learn new ways of communicating and connecting.
One strategy is active listening. Active listening involves paying full attention to what your partner says without interrupting or offering advice or judgments. Instead, validate their feelings by acknowledging them without judgment or minimization.
You could say "I hear how upset you are about this," instead of "It'll be okay." Validation helps build trust and intimacy over time.
Another strategy is mindfulness. Mindfulness means being present in the moment, aware of one's thoughts and emotions but not getting caught up in them. Veterans who practice mindfulness can notice hypervigilant reactions before they become disruptive. When hypervigilance arises, pause and take a deep breath to ground yourself before reacting. This allows you to regulate emotions and communicate more effectively.
Couples should create routines that provide predictability and stability. Routines include regular meals, activities, and conversation times. They help reduce uncertainty and anxiety while providing opportunities for connection. If someone has difficulty relaxing into routine, start small by creating one habit at a time until it becomes easier.
Seek professional support when needed. PTSD affects relationships in many ways, including communication patterns and emotional regulation. Therapy provides tools to manage symptoms, improve communication skills, and repair relationship harm. With effort and patience, couples can maintain emotional closeness despite trauma-related challenges.
How do partners maintain emotional closeness when hypervigilance disrupts veterans' relational rhythms?
The maintenance of emotional closeness between partners is often challenging for individuals suffering from hypervigilance. Hypervigilance refers to an increased state of alertness that can result from traumatic experiences such as military service. It may cause individuals to be on edge and constantly scanning their environment for threats, leading them to become overly attentive to minor changes in their partner's behavior.