For many couples, establishing a sexual agreement is an important part of their relationship.
Over time, these agreements may need to be reevaluated and adjusted. But how does one go about deciding when it's time to revisit those agreements? Here are some factors to consider:
1. Open communication is key. Both partners should feel comfortable communicating openly about their needs and desires without fear of judgment or retribution. This can include discussing changes in physical or emotional needs that have occurred since the original agreement was made, as well as new interests or experiences they would like to try together.
2. Changes in the relationship. If there has been a significant change in the relationship dynamic - such as a baby, a move, or a career shift - this can affect the couple's sex life and might warrant a review of the existing agreement. It's also important to consider whether either partner feels pressured or unhappy with the current arrangement.
3. New experiences. Exploring new aspects of their sexuality together, such as roleplaying or kinks, could bring up new ideas or challenges for both partners that were not previously considered. Discussing them openly can help both parties gain insight into each other's desires and find solutions that work for everyone involved.
4. Time constraints. As life gets busier, finding more time for intimacy may become harder. Revisiting the initial agreement can help ensure that both partners remain satisfied with the amount of attention they receive and avoid resentment from feeling left out.
5. Personal growth. A partner's personal growth can lead to a desire for something different than what was originally agreed upon.
One person becoming more confident in their body image or exploring a new identity may cause them to want to experiment in ways that weren't considered before.
6. Trust issues. If one partner has begun to question the trust between them and their partner, it's crucial to revisit the boundaries set by the agreement to make sure both parties are comfortable moving forward. This includes discussions about exclusivity, monogamy, and safety concerns.
7. Health issues. Any physical changes due to illness or aging should be addressed within the context of the agreement. Medical conditions such as erectile dysfunction or vaginal dryness can affect how sex occurs and need to be factored in accordingly.
8. Infidelity. If infidelity has occurred, it's essential to consider whether the original agreement needs to be renegotiated to prevent similar situations in the future. It's also vital to address any underlying issues that led to cheating and repair any damage caused by it.
9. Outside influences. External factors like societal norms and cultural expectations can influence sexual desires over time. Couples should consider whether these have changed and adjust their agreement accordingly.
10. Financial stress. Money problems can put a strain on any relationship, including intimacy. Talking openly about financial obligations and deciding how much sex is affordable can help ease tension and ensure that both partners feel valued.
Revisiting an existing sexual agreement doesn't have to be daunting. By considering these factors and maintaining open communication, couples can create a healthy, fulfilling sex life that works for everyone involved.
How do couples determine when to revisit long-standing sexual agreements?
A couple's decision about when to revisit their long-standing sexual agreement is influenced by various factors such as changes in sexual desire, feelings of attraction towards one another, time spent apart, differences in priorities and values, evolving understanding of gender roles and power dynamics, external stressors (e. g. , financial difficulties), and communication patterns within the relationship. It may also be influenced by previous experiences with sexuality or trauma that affect their willingness to discuss sex openly.