A soldier's deployment can be an intense experience that often leads to dramatic changes in their personality and beliefs. This is due to a variety of factors including traumas they may have witnessed or experienced, being removed from their usual routines, and being exposed to new cultures and ways of life. When a soldier returns home after a deployment, they are faced with the challenge of reintegrating into civilian life while also trying to maintain the positive aspects of their military experiences. One way this can manifest itself is through dissonance between pre-deployment and post-deployment selves. This dissonance can cause tension within relationships and make it difficult for partners to navigate relational negotiation effectively.
The Impact of Deployment
During a deployment, soldiers go through many different emotions and experiences that can fundamentally change who they are as people. They may see or experience things that are completely foreign to them and gain new perspectives on life. These changes can be both positive and negative, but the transition back to civilian life can be difficult. Soldiers may feel like they no longer fit in with their previous social circles and struggle to find common ground with friends and family members.
Returning home often means having to deal with paperwork and bureaucracy which can add additional stress. All these factors can lead to a feeling of disconnection from what was once familiar.
Pre-Deployment Selves vs Post-Deployment Selves
When a soldier deploys, there is usually a break in their daily routine and they enter a new environment that is very different from anything they have ever known before. This can create tension within themselves as they try to reconcile their old beliefs and values with their new experiences. They may also develop new interests or hobbies that were not part of their pre-deployment life. This can lead to differences in how they interact with their partner, especially if their partner has remained at home during the deployment. There may be a sense of distance or alienation that makes communication more challenging.
Negotiating Relationships After Deployment
Navigating a relationship after deployment can be tricky because there are so many variables at play. Partners need to understand that the person coming home is different than the one who left. They may have changed in ways that are hard for partners to predict or anticipate. One way to negotiate this dissonance is through open and honest communication. It's important for each party to express their needs and expectations clearly so that they can work together to find solutions. This might mean compromising on some things while being firm about others.
Finding Common Ground
Another key aspect of relational negotiation post-deployment is finding common ground between partners. This can be difficult if one partner feels like they don't know the other anymore. Spending time together doing activities that both enjoy can help build bridges and create shared memories.
Talking about what each person experienced during the deployment can help them feel closer.
It's essential to do this without pressuring the soldier to relive any traumatic events. Listening with empathy and understanding can go a long way towards helping a soldier process their experiences and reintegrate into civilian life.
How do partners navigate relational negotiation when soldiers experience dissonance between pre- and post-deployment selves?
When soldiers experience dissonance between their pre- and post-deployment selves, it can create challenges for them as they try to navigate relational negotiation with their partners. The dissonance may manifest as feelings of guilt, shame, isolation, confusion, anger, or depression, which can impact communication and intimacy within relationships.