Religious socialization refers to the process through which individuals learn about their religion's beliefs, values, practices, and traditions from family members, peers, institutions, media, and other sources. This socialization begins early in life and continues throughout adulthood, shaping an individual's understanding of what is right and wrong, acceptable or unacceptable within their faith community. Religions often have strict rules regarding sexual behavior, including premarital sex, extramarital affairs, homosexuality, birth control, and gender roles.
Christianity considers all forms of non-procreative sex sinful and requires that women remain subservient to men in marriage. These religious teachings can influence an individual's attitudes towards sex and shape their sexual scripts, fantasies, and relational expectations. In this article, I will explain how religious socialization shapes these aspects of human intimacy.
Sexual Scripts refer to the set of norms, guidelines, and standards for appropriate sexual behavior within a culture. These scripts are learned through socialization and are influenced by factors such as religion, media, education, and peer pressure. Religious socialization plays a significant role in determining what type of sex is considered acceptable in society.
Many religions frown upon premarital sex, extramarital affairs, and same-sex relationships. As a result, individuals who grow up with these beliefs may develop a negative view of certain types of sexual behaviors, leading them to feel shame or guilt when engaging in them.
They may find it challenging to openly discuss their desires, fearing judgment from others. This creates a script where sex is seen only as between husband and wife, within marriage, for procreation, and not as enjoyment.
Fantasies refer to mental images or thoughts about sexual activity that people may experience during arousal or sleep. They can be anything from vanilla to kinky and range from simple to complex. Religious socialization can play a crucial role in shaping one's sexual fantasies.
If someone has been taught that sex is only for procreation, they may have difficulty imagining scenarios involving pleasure or experimentation. On the other hand, those exposed to more permissive attitudes towards sex may fantasize about activities deemed taboo by their faith community.
Even those raised with conservative values can still have non-traditional fantasies, making it challenging to determine how religious socialization affects this aspect of intimacy.
Relational expectations are an individual's assumptions and beliefs regarding romantic relationships. These expectations are often formed early in life and influenced by family dynamics, media, peer groups, and religion. Religious socialization plays a significant role in determining what type of relationship is considered ideal.
Many religions promote monogamy, fidelity, and heterosexuality, which shapes individuals' relational expectations. As a result, some may expect to marry young, stay married until death, and never engage in extramarital affairs or same-sex relationships. Others may view these behaviors as sinful or unacceptable, leading them to feel shame when exploring alternatives. This creates a script where relationships are seen as traditional and stable, not based on mutual respect or love but rather on following religious norms.
Religious socialization influences the development of sexual scripts, fantasies, and relational expectations. Individuals who grow up in strict religious communities may find it difficult to explore their desires and develop healthy attitudes towards sex. They may also struggle with guilt and shame surrounding certain acts, limiting their ability to experience pleasure. On the other hand, those exposed to more permissive attitudes may be better equipped to express themselves and enjoy a broader range of activities.
Even those raised with conservative values can still have non-traditional fantasies and relational expectations. Therefore, while religion can play a role in shaping intimacy, it is not the only factor influencing one's views on sex and relationships.