It is common for religions to have strict rules regarding how to conduct oneself during love and romance. This includes behavioral guidelines regarding dating, marriage, and intimacy. Religious belief systems may include rules about premarital and extramarital sex, gender roles, contraception, birth control methods, family planning, and even procreation. Some religious teachings encourage chastity before marriage, while others promote abstinence until marriage.
Christianity teaches that "sexual intercourse should be saved exclusively for marriage between husband and wife" 1.
There are many exceptions.
In Hindu culture, couples are allowed to engage in sex only when they intend to conceive a child. It's considered immoral to engage in sexual activities without procreative intentions. When it comes to premarital sex, Hinduism sees it as a crime against nature. In Islam, sex is permissible but restricted to married individuals who follow proper procedures such as fasting, bathing, purification, and other acts of worship. Muslim men are also expected to fulfill their wives' needs by providing them with pleasure and satisfaction.
While some believers find these expectations challenging, others embrace them.
Orthodox Jews believe that sex is an expression of God's creation and should be experienced within marriage. They see it as sacred and meaningful and consider it a way of expressing gratitude towards God. Similarly, Mormons see sex as a gift from God and view premarital sex as sinful. They view the act as holy and pleasurable, yet dangerous unless entered into with reverence.
When believers encounter failure in meeting those ideals, they may feel guilty, ashamed, or confused. This can cause psychological distress. Belief systems provide guidelines for what is right and wrong, good and bad. Failure to meet these standards can lead to feelings of shame, disappointment, and even self-hatred.
Religious beliefs often emphasize sexual restraint and abstinence. This can lead to feelings of guilt if one does not live up to those ideals, creating anxiety and low self-esteem.
1 "What Does The Bible Say About Sexuality?".
How do believers cope with this reality?
One coping mechanism for believers struggling with failed initial sexual experiences is acceptance and forgiveness. Accepting oneself and acknowledging mistakes without judgement can help reduce guilt and shame. Forgiving oneself and recognizing divine grace can also offer comfort. Another option is seeking professional help such as counseling or therapy. Professionals can provide guidance on how to move forward while upholding religious values.
Many religions encourage meditation and prayer. Meditating and connecting with God can bring peace and strength during difficult times. Prayer can also help believers seek guidance and find solace in their faith. Engaging in spiritual practices like fasting or yoga can help individuals focus on inner growth rather than external circumstances.
Attending church services and reading religious texts can provide support and perspective.
When the initial sexual experience fails to align with religiously shaped ideals, believers may feel guilty, ashamed, or confused. To cope, they can practice acceptance and forgiveness, seek professional help, engage in spiritual practices, and attend religious services. By doing so, they can maintain their beliefs while processing the experience.