What is Secondary Traumatic Stress?
Secondary traumatic stress occurs when someone repeatedly hears about another person's traumatic experiences. This can include things like hearing stories about violence, abuse, accidents, natural disasters, or war. It often happens when people are in close contact with someone who has experienced a traumatic event, such as partners, friends, family members, coworkers, or caregivers. People who experience secondary trauma may develop symptoms similar to those of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), including feelings of anxiety, fear, guilt, shame, helplessness, hopelessness, anger, confusion, sadness, fatigue, insomnia, flashbacks, nightmares, numbness, dissociation, intrusive thoughts, avoidance behaviors, difficulty concentrating, and physical reactions such as increased heart rate, sweating, shaking, nausea, or dizziness.
How Does Witnessing a Partner's Trauma Contribute to the Development of Secondary Traumatic Stress?
Witnessing a partner's trauma can cause secondary traumatic stress because it involves exposure to traumatic information that can lead to emotional distress and changes in cognitions, behaviors, and physiological responses.
If your partner was assaulted or attacked, you might hear their story over and over again, which can be emotionally taxing. You might also feel responsible for protecting them from future danger, even though this is usually not within your control. Hearing graphic details about what happened can make you feel powerless and scared, leading to increased anxiety and hypervigilance.
Seeing your partner struggling with pain, fear, or depression after an event can bring up your own unresolved trauma or losses, making it harder to support them effectively.
Symptoms of Secondary Traumatic Stress in Relationships
In relationships, secondary traumatic stress can manifest in various ways. People may become withdrawn or distant, avoiding talking about their feelings or trying to minimize their partner's experiences. They may develop negative beliefs about themselves (e.g., "I am not good enough" or "I am a failure") or others ("The world is dangerous"). They may feel guilty, ashamed, or helpless, blaming themselves or their partner for the trauma. They may experience flashbacks or nightmares related to the trauma, leading to difficulty concentrating or sleeping. They may engage in risky behavior or self-harm as a way of coping. They may become angry or irritable and have trouble expressing affection or intimacy. They may lose interest in activities they used to enjoy, withdraw socially, or isolate themselves. These symptoms can strain relationships and create additional stress and conflict.
Ways to Cope with Secondary Traumatic Stress
To cope with secondary traumatic stress, individuals can try to build resilience by seeking professional help, practicing self-care, and prioritizing their needs. This might include taking breaks from difficult conversations, setting boundaries around sharing details, spending time apart, communicating openly about emotions, practicing mindfulness or meditation, exercising regularly, getting plenty of rest and nutrition, connecting with supportive friends and family members, and reaching out to mental health professionals when needed. It's also important to remember that it's normal to feel overwhelmed and that seeking help does not make you weak or inadequate. With support and effort, people can learn to manage their reactions and improve their relationships.
How does witnessing a partner's trauma contribute to the development of secondary traumatic stress in relationships?
Secondary traumatic stress is an experience that occurs when someone who has not directly experienced a traumatic event feels intense emotions connected with it. This phenomenon can result from hearing about another person's experiences, watching them, or even thinking about their plight. In a relationship where one partner has been through some form of trauma, it is common for the other party to feel secondary traumatic stress as they try to support and be there for their loved ones.