The concept of marriage is an important one in many religions. It is seen as a union between two people that is binding for life, and it carries with it certain obligations and responsibilities. In terms of sexual relations within marriage, there are often strict rules about what is allowed and what is forbidden.
Some religions prohibit premarital sex, while others allow it under certain circumstances. Some religions also have specific requirements regarding the frequency of marital sex, such as once a week or once a month.
Sexual pleasure is an important part of marriage, but it must be balanced with duty, discipline, and moral accountability. The Quran says "Let those who find wives not despise them if they do not give them abundance" (Qur'an 4:19). This means that although husbands should provide for their wives, they should not expect excessive amounts of physical intimacy from them. Similarly, the Bible states that "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled." (Hebrews 13:4) This suggests that marital sex is pure and good, but also implies that couples should not engage in it too frequently.
In Islam, the goal of sexual relations within marriage is to create love and emotional closeness between spouses. The Quran says "And they enjoin upon you equitable treatment towards women, with regard to the rights you owe them according to the norms of kinship; and live with them righteously. If you dislike something your wives have done, then first counsel them, and ignore it in bed - unless they offer something objectionable. Then leave them alone in bed for a period, and finally, divorce them without blame." (Qur'an 4:19) This shows that there are limits on how much control one partner can exert over another during intercourse.
Christianity emphasizes the importance of mutual submission between husband and wife, as well as self-control. Ephesians 5:28-29 says "So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church." This passage demonstrates the idea that husbands and wives should put each other's needs before their own desires. In addition, Colossians 3:5 states that husbands should "love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" which suggests that marital sex should be based on sacrifice rather than lust.
Buddhism sees sexual pleasure as part of the path to enlightenment.
Monks and nuns take vows of celibacy and must abstain from all forms of sexual activity. The Buddha said, "Let him not wish for a son, nor let him wish for a daughter. Let him not wish for a male nor wish for a female. Neither wishing for sons or daughters, nor delighting in them when they are born." (Anguttara Nikaya III.65) This indicates that Buddhists view sexual relations within marriage as a distraction from spiritual growth.
In Judaism, intimacy is seen as an integral part of marriage, but it must be balanced with respect and responsibility. Leviticus 18:6-7 says "None of you shall approach any blood relative of his to uncover nakedness: I am the Lord." This verse implies that couples should avoid incest, while still enjoying one another sexually. Rabbi Shlomo Riskin writes that married life is "based on mutual respect and trust, on giving and receiving love and affection, on mutuality and understanding." He also notes that "marriage is not just about having children and procreating, it's about creating a home where two people can live together in harmony and peace."
The Hindu religion believes in the concept of dharma, or duty. In terms of sexual relations within marriage, this means that spouses should fulfill their obligations to each other, even if they do not find pleasure in doing so. The Upanishads say "A man who has no desire for the enjoyment of women will become pure; he becomes superior to all human beings and realizes Brahman." (Mundaka Upanishad 2.2.3) This shows that celibacy is ideal, but that marital sex is acceptable if necessary for procreation.
From these examples, we see that religious views of marital sex vary widely. Some religions prioritize physical pleasure, while others emphasize moral accountability and self-control. Still others view sexual activity as a distraction from spiritual growth.
Couples must balance their own needs and desires with their religious beliefs when deciding how much physical intimacy they want to have within their marriage.