The impact of war on an individual's emotional health cannot be understated. Soldiers are especially susceptible to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which can affect their ability to form intimate relationships after returning home from deployment. PTSD is characterized by recurring nightmares, flashbacks, avoidance of reminders of traumatic experiences, hypervigilance, paranoia, anxiety, depression, and difficulty regulating emotions. These symptoms can impede soldiers' ability to connect with others and experience pleasure during sex, leading to feelings of isolation, guilt, shame, and rejection. To counteract this, some soldiers turn to intensive therapy or medication, while others rely on social support networks.
Even when these measures prove effective, they may still struggle to read their partner's nonverbal cues and express themselves authentically. This phenomenon has been observed in both male and female veterans who served in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Research indicates that one way veterans can address relationship difficulties is through emotion coaching - teaching partners how to recognize and respond appropriately to their emotional needs.
A soldier might explain to his spouse that he feels uncomfortable being touched without warning, but also wants to feel loved and appreciated. The spouse could then work on giving him affectionate hugs, touches, and words of affirmation at opportune moments throughout the day. It's crucial for both parties to maintain open communication about their expectations and boundaries.
Another approach is to focus on positive reinforcement rather than criticism or punishment. Veterans may have grown accustomed to living with constant stress and danger, so they find it difficult to relax and be vulnerable. Their partner should praise them for small acts of kindness and provide opportunities for fun activities, such as going out to dinner or taking walks together.
Veterans may benefit from learning mindfulness techniques like deep breathing exercises and meditation, which help regulate emotions and improve overall well-being.
Couples can practice self-care by engaging in solo activities that promote relaxation and self-awareness. Activities like yoga, art therapy, and journaling can give soldiers time away from each other while strengthening personal identity and resilience. Partners can also prioritize their own interests, such as pursuing education or hobbies, to increase fulfillment outside of the relationship. With patience, commitment, and effort, even veterans with PTSD can reconstruct intimacy after war.
How do soldiers reconstruct intimacy when trauma disrupts natural emotional responsiveness?
When soldiers return from deployment, they may experience difficulties reconnecting with loved ones due to changes in their emotional responses. This can be particularly challenging for couples who have been apart for extended periods of time. One possible explanation for this is that military service often involves witnessing or experiencing traumatic events, which can alter an individual's ability to regulate emotions and form strong bonds with others.