The concept of marriage is central to Judaism, which views it as a sacred bond between a man and a woman that was created by God. Marriage in Judaism entails many responsibilities and obligations such as mutual love, respect, trust, loyalty, and companionship, all of which are integral to a fulfilling and meaningful relationship.
One aspect that has received little attention in this context is the impact of Jewish religious strictness on marital sexual satisfaction. This article delves into how Jewish laws and traditions affect marital sexuality and explores their influence on a couple's intimate life.
In Judaism, marriage is considered an act of holiness, and sexual relations within it are governed by a set of rules and regulations known as the laws of family purity. These laws require men to abstain from sex for seven days after each instance of ejaculation and women to observe a ritual bath called a mikveh before resuming sexual activity. The laws also dictate that married couples should engage in intercourse only during certain times of the month when the woman is fertile and avoid sexual contact altogether during specific periods. As a result, there may be extended periods of abstinence between partners, which can create tension and lead to frustration.
Jewish tradition emphasizes chastity, modesty, and restraint, which may have far-reaching implications for marital relationships.
Touching and kissing in public or even holding hands without being married could constitute adultery under Jewish law. Similarly, sexual acts outside of marriage are forbidden, including masturbation and pornography. These restrictions can make it challenging for married individuals to explore their sexuality freely and develop healthy sexual relationships.
Some scholars argue that these restrictions can enhance marital bliss. According to Rabbi Shmuel Greenfeld, the laws of family purity force spouses to cultivate other forms of intimacy, such as intellectual and emotional connections, that deepen their bond and increase trust.
The laws' constraints on sexual frequency and the limited opportunities for spontaneity encourage creativity and spice up the relationship. In this sense, the laws can enhance marital satisfaction by increasing its quality rather than merely quantity.
The rules governing sexual conduct in Judaism can also be limiting and restrictive.
The laws mandate that sex should not occur on days when a couple observes fasts or special holidays such as Yom Kippur. This requirement can cause inconvenience and conflict, particularly if one partner is more observant than the other. The laws can also interfere with a couple's physical pleasure and prevent them from exploring new positions or techniques.
While Jewish religious strictness has a significant impact on marital sexuality, its influence varies widely depending on the individual couple's beliefs and practices. Some may find the limitations imposed by the laws liberating, while others may feel stifled and dissatisfied. Nevertheless, it is essential to acknowledge that there is no single formula for achieving marital fulfillment and that each couple must navigate their unique set of challenges and opportunities within their cultural context.